The People V. OJ: What’s Wrong With The Show

Let me just say it here, the last thing I ever wanted was to write a post on all the things wrong with FX’s The People v. OJ Simpson. It’s a show produced by my favorite writer/director Ryan Murphy, so obviously, I had high hopes for this series. Also, it has a cast filled with top notch celebrities (okay maybe not top notch) but it’s a show with a high production value.

But now, the time has come for me to be brutally honest. We’re two episodes in and I’m not entirely impressed. I’m not giving up, it’s still early and the car chase ended last night so I feel like now we’re moving in a different direction.

Here’s what’s wrong with this show:

I want to break this down into characters because I think that’s what this season is all about. But before that, let’s just talk about the writing real quick. I find it really weak when shows rely on expositional writing to explain things to the audience. This was a highly publicized and documented case, there is enough information out there for fans to educate themselves. We don’t need the information thrown at us, all that does is create really cheesy and limited dialogue.

Cuba Gooding Jr: Is probably confusing me the most right now. I don’t know if I like his acting or if I hate it. I don’t know if the real O.J was that over the top crazy (most likely he was) but it just makes it harder to understand how accurate Cuba’s performance is. There are moments where I’m like okay this shot is on him way too long, and he’s screaming way too loud, is he over acting? Or is it just that he doesn’t have enough lines in the script so they just need a super long extreme close up shot of him? Still, we’ve only seen him in this crazed suicidal state, so I’m excited to get further into the season and see a different more manipulative side of him. But still, what are your thoughts?

David Schwimmer: Don’t get me wrong I really love him but he cannot, and shouldn’t have played the role of Robert Kardashian. His face, it’s just not made for serious acting. Also his voice – he sounds like Ross!!. Also his constant connection to the Kardashian children. WTF was that cut scene during his press conference to the living room with his kids watching him on television screaming “daddy, daddy!” Like was that really necessary? And where was Kris Jenner?? Do the Kardashians secretly have a producing credit? So, so many burning questions. There was an article by Rolling Stone last night that pointed out Robert wasn’t the one who convinced O.J to get out of the car. So for them to use Robert as the one that does it in the show makes me wonder there’s someone behind this all that really wants to make Robert look like the hero. Not to say he wasn’t, it just seems like they are going to greater lengths to flush out his character and his ‘heroic’ demeanor.

Sarah Paulson: They are pushing real hard to make us appreciate that Sarah Paulson’s role as Marcia Clark was a no-joke badass biatch. In the midst of the entire O.j car chase, she seems like the only level headed person in the department, while her boss is sketching out because he isn’t going to be mayor anymore.

John Travolta: Eyebrows on fleek. All I can say is John Travolta is coming through with this performance. And I’m sure there’s a lot of truth to this performance, but it’s clear that Robert Shapiro was more of a lawyer than a friend to O.J. The moments where Kardashian is torn and hurting because O.J was is his real friend, Shapiro steps up and has to make the decisions that ultimately help them later on in the case. So as much as he’s the asshole-y lawyer, John T plays him perfectly. And that’s all I can say about that.

Johnny Cochran: So we haven’t seen Johnny involved with the two Roberts yet, he’s more on the outside observing and deciding if he’s going to take the case. Johnny’s decision to represent O.J obviously comes down to how he felt the DA’s office was treating people of colour. We’ve seen snippets of his character, but I’m excited to see more of his techniques and what made him a great lawyer during the actual case.

The 405 Freeway:  Came through the hardest this episode with its epic aerial shots, wide shots, close up shots, pedestrians on bridges shot, the freeway did a lot this episode. And I’m pointing this out because it took Murphy and the production team over a year to get permits to film the car scene. Let that sh** sink in. There were some great shots in there, but the craziest one was seeing the highway completely empty, with the Bronco and police cruisers chasing him down.

I also felt like I was forcing myself to get through the entire episode, and whether that means the pacing of the episodes is super slow, or losing interest is easy because we know how this is all going to end, whichever it is, Ryan Murphy needs to pick this ish up.

What did you guys think of the episode?



I hate to admit this but I’ve been searching for points in the season that are going to disappoint me and eventually make me hate the season entirely. But the new season of American Horror Story: Hotel hasn’t done that just yet, and I’m starting to believe that I’m not going to be disappointed with this season. Like any other American Horror Story season, there’s a lot of stories floating around. The writers bring in a lot of characters, and then slowly disperse them or connect them to each other. We’re now in episode six of the Hotel season and things are starting to come full circle nicely. BTW, this recap will have spoilers. BTW, Will Drake has a nice butt.


Lady Gaga: I think everyone had their uncertainties about Lady G filling the shoes of Jessica Lange, but she’s done an amazing job with her character this season. [Confirmed Gaga will return for the next season of AHS- whatever that may be] As the season progresses, I’m more enamored by her character and her motivations. I had a discussion with a friend a few weeks back and we were talking about Gaga being the villain of this season, and whether or not she’s supposed to be. Is she a villain? Should we assume she is mostly evil and a little nice? Or is she just a really complex character that has a good heart. Well, if you watched this week’s episode you probably know the answer to that. And it’s ironic that I was asking that question because I knew right from the start of this week’s episode, Tristan and Liz Taylor weren’t going to make it out alive.

As much as we’ve seen her give life to some characters, and in most cases she literally gave life to them or brought them back to life, she has a sense of ownership over them and she expects them to be loyal to her. She exudes this nurturing motherly figure, but really their happiness isn’t her concern, and her killing Tristan just shows that it’s all about her.

But an important flashback from this episode, 1924 Gaga shows up at the Murder House (season 1) to visit the doctor that everyone’s been raving about – the abortion doctor! Except Gaga isn’t having a baby, she’s having a demon baby. And when the doc pulls it out, it’s still alive and attacks the nurse. The better world would be slaughtered. But I guess since then Gaga has kept this demon baby  – Bartholomew hidden in Room 33, and for good reason that ish is fugly.


Bartholomew: Super exciting that the entire time Gaga is kidnapping children around Southern California, she has a real baby of her own locked up in room 33. I mean it’s not a real baby, the face is pretty much torn off, and it has little beady eyes like a shark, but I mean it still came out of her V so it’s hers. We know about the baby because of the flashback, and then we see Gaga saying goodbye to it before she goes to Paris, and then Buffy the Vampire Slayer shows up at the hotel and wants to see little Bart. When Angela Bassett’s character enters room 33, she’s attacked by the demon baby. Also by this point we haven’t seen the demon baby yet. But anyways, John (Wes Bentley) is leaving the hotel after a bloody threesome, and before he zips up his suitcase demon baby hops into it! And then when John gets home demon baby escapes and lurks around the house. Scarlett is downstairs eating popcorn when dad sees the demon baby and shoots at it. Demon baby scurries off leaving a trail of blood. Scarlett gets sent back to her grandmothers, wow Chloe Sevigny is a ruthless mother she didn’t even want to look at her daughter now that she has Holden. Still outside, Chloe sees the demon baby and picks it up and brings it back to the hotel. When Lady Gaga returns she looks all worried and Chloe’s all like don’t worry I saved your baby just like you saved mine. And in the moonlit room Gaga doesn’t look so evil holding her demon baby.

Matt Bomer: Seems pretty useless right now, but he feels the need to preach to the two Swedish girls that died earlier in the season. “Find your purpose” he tells them, and I really hope he’s not quoting Justin Bieber. Ugh.

Liz Taylor: Is in love with Tristan and Tristan is in love with Liz Taylor! Who would’ve thought these two would fall for each other?

Tristan ‘When I come down to the lobby it’s like you’re genuinely happy to see me, I believe you’ Liz Taylor ‘You’re not gay for being with me, I’m a girl. Thank you for seeing the girl’

How cute are they though!? But you know sh**s about to go down because Tristan is Gaga’s boy toy and ain’t nobody going to steal her toys. Liz Taylor knows they’re screwed but he can’t help himself. PS, how much are you loving these 80s beats in the background? Gaga is too busy with Will Drake, until she’s not busy because uh…Will Drake is not a fan of the ladies. One quick text from the Countess ‘Cum up’ to Tristan and he knows he has to go.


A. I love that Tristan calls her the Countess in his phone book B. His battery is charged fully even late into the night and C. Her spelling.

Long story short, when Tristan and Liz Taylor tell Gaga, she says okay you can have each other. And then she kills Tristan!!! Not shocking but totally ruthless!


Oops we did it again! Can we still do that? Use a Britney quote from the 90s? Pretty sure we can, again we teamed up with The Sassy Gay to bring you a very brief ‘recap and review’ of last night’s “Scream Queens”. Read below:



SCREAM QUEEEEENS! Love this show it’s absolutely hilarious, what were your thoughts on last night’s episode titled “Pumpkin Patch”


Ummmm, loved it.


So we know that Scream Queens is going to have 3 Halloween episodes, which is totally Ryan Murphy that guy has like a black soul. But last night had us running through a pumpkin patch maze, and the girls trying to keep up with their Halloween traditions after the dean called all the events off right?


That’s right HH. It’s definitely my favorite time to watch his shows because Ryan Murphy always turns up for Halloween (cc: AHS) At this point in time, are we even following this story or are we just waiting for Neicy Nash to get on camera and spit some hilarious ish?


Neicy Nash definitely wins MVP of the season, I’ve been cracking up everytime she’s been on screen, and I find it even funnier that she legit hates Keke Palmer’s character Zayday Williams. Speaking of Zayday she’s missing…but we do see that she’s alive


This girl Beyonce’s right through those KKT front doors and is ready for the vote by the end of the episode while this piecemeal rescue team lags behind. Fishy?


Yeah fishy on whose part? You think Zayday has something to do with the red devil??


Who knows at this point. I feel like everyone who doesn’t have some on camera action (not including recollection) has something to hide.


Yeah and I think last night I fully realized I don’t even care who the red devil is, I’m just loving all the characters and craziness that’s going on. Chanel #1 goes to jail…I swear that just happens so Ryan could have his Orange is the New Black throw


How funny was that, there was even some likeness to some of the main characters. This man is full stop poking fun at just about everything and everyone


That’s what this show does so well, they poke fun at our entire world but in the best way. Side note: The new show “Scream” on Netflix tries to do this, but they fail miserably. End of side note. And I feel like it makes me appreciate the Scream Queen girls even more. OMG the candle girl was losing her shit!!! I can’t even, I could talk about all of them they’re all so jokes.


Lol I know. What do you think of Lea Michelle’s character (Chanel #6) turning into a cray double agent?


I was kind of annoyed that the first chance they got they ditched her ugly get up and dolled her up…because obviously she couldn’t stand to be ugly for another second. But she’s actually really funny and still a little desperate to get the attention


Yea she definitely plays her role well. They all really do. So do you think with this latest episode we get a little bit closer to finding out the who’s and the why’s?


Well we obviously know that Nasim Pedrad’s character Gigi is working with the Devil group, and she’s probably the mastermind of it all. But other than that, I feel like we don’t really know much. And I almost feel like they really don’t want us to spend too much time figuring it out. They’re like just enjoy this damn show because Niecy Nash is friggin hilarious!


I don’t care who the killer is, because SHE kills me. #cornyjokes


But where do you think that leaves Chanel #1 in all of this? And PS Chad Radwell is amazing


Something about his face annoys me


He’s supposed to.


Yea well he’s doing a great job at it then lol. I think Chanel #1 has a bit of something going on too but I highly doubt she has much to do with this Red Devil murder stuff


I still feel like ear muff girl is going to shock us with something…under those ear muffs


Lol, she turned up for a quick minute when she was “next in line” during their imaginary lunch (GENIUS). I was like damn girl, you’re not some doe eyed quiet girl you can take charge too, getit


Wait that was imaginary??


They were “fake eating” the food lol – hilarious


It looks like there are only 8 episodes in the first season..,if that’s the case I’m going to be really sad slash how are they going to end it all. Because we know this is going to be another anthology type show, not as drastic as AHS but still. Things will change next season


Yea I have no idea how this will all play out. And I hope theyre already shooting next season lol


…with Niecy Nash. And the music has been ON POINT…I love it…I love it all


K what was with the addition of the opening credit sequence all of a sudden?


Ya thats what I meant!!! I loved it but why did it just start now lol


We’re halfway through the season and they introduce it??? Do you think they’re trying to make it more visible so people who are flipping channels are like “Ooooh whats that?”


No i have no idea what it means, I just assumed they wanted a few more minutes in the other episodes but even then it doesn’t make sense to add it now


Yea who knows, but even the sequence shows you how much fun they’re having fun with this genre


Totally and I’m having fun watching it…until next week! Zayday’s nachos looked gooooooood tho


Oakland Nachos. Bye Felicia


What did you guys think of the episode? And the season so far??  Comment below or follow us on Twitter.

American Horror Story: Coven ‘RECAP’

Last night’s episode of American Horror Story:Coven was the CRAZIEST episode by far this season! SPOILER ALERT!!! If you haven’t seen the episode, you need to go home right now and watch it because it was 60 minutes of brilliant television!


Just when you think the episode is over- it’s not…and it unleashed a handful of new secrets. A lot of questions were answered last night so let’s get right into it.

The Axeman

The episode opens up to New Orleans in 1919, the city has a dangerous serial killer/jazz fanatic lurking the streets, he’s out to get women with his axe, especially women who aren’t fans of the jazz. The Axeman reports to the local newspaper that he’s going to kill anyone that isn’t playing jazz music- so of course these sassy witches at Miss Robichaux’s (the cven used to be jam packed with practicing witches) decide to defy the Axeman and play opera instead. When he walks by the  gated entranceway, he finds the gate a little open and decides to walk in. The house is quiet, he walks up to one of the bedrooms, where one of the witches (Meryl Streep’s daughter) is using her tarot cards. She unfolds the last card that has a picture of death, just when Axeman swings his axe, the witch dissapears and reappears behind him, she stabs him and then the rest of her sassy sisters emerge from the darkness and continue to stab the Axeman…killing him. Or so we think.


Zoe’s Putting In Work

Zoe is determined to figure out what happened to Madison, and since the older women don’t seem to be protecting them- Zoe makes it clear to Nan and Queenie that they need to protect themselves. When Zoe’s searching through Madison’s things, one of the bottles goes flying into the closet and points to a secret hole in the wall. In there, Zoe finds an old spirit board. When she brings it to Nan and Queenie, they both refuse to play along because everyone knows nothing comes out of weejie boards. Zoe convinces them, reminding them they are one of the last witches and they need to protect each other. Even if that means finding out where their other witch sister has dissapeared to. The spirit board connects to a spirit in the house, he introduces himself as The Axeman. As if the name doesn’t scare them off, Zoe continues asking questions- like where is Madison? The spirit replies ‘attic’. Zoe goes up to the attic and finds Madison’s dead body in the room. After a brief struggle with Spalding (he can’t fight), Zoe brings up the other girls and they start asking him questions- like who killed Madison? Nan can read his mind, so it’s the only way to hear what he’s saying. He obviously covers up for Fiona and tells the girls that he killed her. Zoe doesn’t believe it, Spalding’s been around witches for a very long time, it wouldn’t surprise her that he’s learned some tricks along the way.

At Misty’s cottage, she’s enjoying her isolation with some more Stevie Nicks until Kyle (Frankenboy) shows up at the door. He’s all dirty so Misty decides to bathe him. During the bath Kyle has flashbacks of his mother abusing him and starts to freak out. He runs around her cottage naked- screaming (more like grunting), smashing things, he grabs Misty’s cassette player and destroys it. That’s it, Misty’s had enough- just then Zoe shows up. Misty is pissed off, which is surprising coming from her because she’s alwas in the weird hippy relaxed state. Anyways, Misty tells Zoe to get Kyle out of there…’He broke Stevie’. But Zoe has a plan, and it requires Misty!


Back at the house, Zoe shows Misty the dead body of Madison. It absolutely stinks, she has a missing arm, and Misty tells Zoe she can’t do anything ‘there’s too much death inside her’ because she’s been dead for too long. Zoe tells Misty to try anyways, Misty tries for a few seconds but nothing happens. Misty asks Zoe to push on her stomach…they’re both using their energy- and then Madison starts coughing- first blood comes out, a few maggots…and then finally a ginormous cockroach. Madison’s first words were ‘I need a cigarette’.

Later, the colour in Madison’s face hasn’t even come back when they start asking her if she remembers who killed her. She remembers seeing red…and then nothing else.

Marie’s secret informant

So who knew that Marie Laveau had a secret informant in Delia’s crazy husband. Turns out he’s not really crazy- he’s just a sworn witch hunter. Whhaaaaaaaaat?! I’m still recovering from this twist, but of course it’s AHS- this stuff is bound to happen. So basically Marie hired Delia’s husband years ago to infiltrate the Salem witch coven and kill them all. He’s a legit witch hunter…and guess who the red head was? Yep she was a witch to. A quick flashback scene shows the red head girl sitting with Delia whose trying to convinve Red she needs to learn how to control her powers. Red has the power of settings things on fire, but she admits she doesn’t want any of it, she just wants to be a housewife with 3 kids. Marie is pissed off at what’s his face for taking so long to kill everyone. She accuses him of falling in love with Delia, he denies it, but maybe it’s true? Marie tells him he better go over there now and bring all their heads to her or she’s going to kill him. Oh and Marie wasn’t the one who burned Delia’s eyes. Marie tells him if she wanted Delia blind, she could’ve done it from her chair. Which is exactly what I was thinking. She’s so above that!



Delia’s back from the hospital. Fiona and her husband are by her side, but when her man touches her again, Delia sees everything. She says, ‘it took me to go blind to see everything more clearly’- oh the irony. Delia tells him she can see everything, he tells her she’s probably just high from her medication. She tells him to leave the room. Fiona says she wanted to rip his arms out and kill him…but she refrained. Maybe she should’ve because he’s going to be back to kill them! Later, Delia escapes to her bedroom. As she’s getting into bed, the camera moves away from her and we see The Axeman sitting in her room. He tells her that the young witch promised him release- and if he doesn’t get it he’s going to kill her.

Zoe,Nan and Queenie hurry to find a spell to save Delia. Zoe (another reason why she’s supreme) scans the library of spell books without opening any of them. She instinctively knows which one’s going to help her and then proceeds to read the spell. Then,without a noise The Axeman is gone.

He walks out the front door with his briefcase in his hand, walks up to the gate…opens it and walks down the street. So he’s free now!

American Horror Story: ‘The Replacements’ RECAP

Okay, we need to talk about this. WTF went down last night on American Horror Story? Is this episode called ‘The Replacements’ because everyone is being replaced? Oh- guess I should mention…SPOILER ALERTS!

The Fam

It’s 1971, and Fiona is a young, beautiful witch. She’s having a conversation with an older woman who we find out is the supreme witch of her generation. Fiona doesn’t partake in activities with the other witches, her focus is being a supreme and proving to the elderly she has what it takes. But the old woman laughs Fiona off, reminding her what she had to go through to become a supreme.

Then Fiona fights back, the old woman is dying she says, she has diabetes and heart problems, she’s not fit to be a supreme anymore. Then Fiona cuts the old woman’s throat and kills her on the living room floor of Miss Robichaux’s. The camera zooms out and we can see Spalding (the butler) watching over her.

Jump back to the present, Fiona’s sitting at a bar looking stunning as always. Her voice drifts in with a beautiful monologue voice over I wish I could remember. Then we see a handsome guy, he looks over in her direction, then starts walking towards her. She talks about being young and being sexy, how every man wanted her, “My partners have been princes and starving artists, Greek gods and clowns.” All the men she had, thought they were leading her, but to Fiona they were just ‘primitive, beautiful animals’, so she led them by the collar. And then the camera zooms out and the handsome man has arrived at his target point, a group of young girls, while Fiona is in the background by the bar, watching them. It was such an amazing scene, everything she is, everything she is about is literally summed up in that 20 second monologue. I love this show.


After Delia finds out she for sure can’t have any kids, her only option is to visit Marie (Angela Bassett). Marie tells her she can do the fertility spell, then the episode cuts into a video montage of Marie acting out the spell in a weird ‘dancing circle with semen on a fire act’. It cuts back to her salon and Delia is worried but excited. Then Marie tells her it will cost 50k…Delia swears she will somehow come up with the money. Then Marie tells her…she won’t do the spell. Ever. Marie tells Delia she will never do anything for her because Delia’s mother is her sworn enemy. Delia sits there with tears in her eyes.

After Zoe meets Kyle’s mother she decides she’s going to bring Kyle back to her. The mother admits she was ready to hang herself when she got the phone call from Zoe. Meanwhile, Misty and Kyle are back inside the cabin. Misty is blasting Stevie Nicks, who apparently made all these songs about witches and spirits and is Ryan Murphy’s close friend, so now they’re using her music. Zoe arrives to pick up her boyfriend, Misty shows off Kyle’s scars- or lack there of. He’s almost fully healed, well his body, he’s still a mute motionless man. Zoe picks him up and promises she’ll return for Misty. Only Misty doesn’t believe her.

Back to Miss Robichaux’s house, there’s a new neighbour in town and he is smokin’ hot! The girls are spying on him while he’s shirtless, until his mother walks up and sees them watching. She yells at him to come back in the house and put a shirt on. It sparked an interesting conversation between the girls. Nan confidently admits she’s not a virgin, Queenie on the other hand proclaimed she was saving herself for someone special. And Madison…we already know the answer to that. Later, Nan decides to bake a cake for the hottie and take it over. Her and Madison show up at the house, the mother is apalled by Madison’s wardrobe, Nan is too cute, she totally reads hot guy’s mind. (I think I want that superpower) He loves the cake and hates the attention Madison is craving. Ohhhh yeahh, hot guys a good guy!


Hot guy’s mom is a crazy church lady, after Madison uses her witch powers to throw the knife to the wall, the mother demands the they leave her house immediately. On the way out, Madison lights the curtains on fire, Nan looks at her, “I didn’t know you could do that” Madison replies, “Me either”. Does this mean Madison could be the next supreme? She can throw things and light things on fire…she has two powers…this isn’t looking good for Fiona.

Kathy Bates was by far the funniest thing on last night’s episode. She’s starring at the TV…balling her eyes out as she watches President Obama deliver a speech. She’s not crying because she’s proud, she’s crying because a black man is being named President. She doesn’t believe it until Fiona walks in and tells her what she’s missed over the last century.

Zoe returns Kyle back to his mother. She leaves them alone. Kyle’s mother is crazy, after seeing him in the shower she asks him where his body came from. He looks bigger, he doesn’t look like the boy she knew. And boy did she ‘raise’ him…she starts touching Kyle in all the wrong places and we see a better picture of Kyle’s background. Later, when he can’t take it anymore, he whacks his mother to death with an old sports trophy. Zoe visits him a few hours later, she sees his mother’s dead body…and then sees him covered in blood.

Back at the house, Kathy Bates and Queenie are fixing dinner. Correction, Kathy Bates is now a house slave for Queenie….oh how the roles have been reversed. Queenie demands Kathy bake her a peach cobbler…while they’re busy yapping away at each other, they hear a grunt coming from outside. Kathy Bates knows right away who it is. It’s the half bull half man guy at her door!

Queenie yells at Kathy to go upstairs, she’ll take care of this. Queenie steps outisde, at first it looks like she’s got everything under control- and then she starts looking afraid. She calls the animal over, and lures him into the backyard area. Then out of nowhere, she starts touching herself!!! I guess she tries to turn the bull on? It looks like he’s feeling it, until the bull gets behind her…and then grabs her face. Cut Scene! Whaaaaaaaat?!?!!?

Finally, Fiona decides to spend some quality time with Madison. She finds out that Madison lit the curtains on fire and is immediately suspicious new girl might be the new supreme. They spend a night on the town getting hammered, except Madison is actually downing the shots and Fiona is just pretending to drink. [Side Note: Fiona visits her doctor earlier and finds out she has cancer, her immune system is shutting down, she’s dying.]


Then, the unthinkable happens. Fiona and Madison return home, they start talking and Fiona admits to Madison that she might be the next supreme. Madison laughs it off. Fiona grabs the knife (they’re standing in the same spot where Fiona killed the elderly supreme) she begs Madison to kill her. She’s already dying and wants to die. Madison calls her crazy she refuses to grab the knife, in the scuffle of screaming and pushing, Fiona slices Madison’s throat and the young girl falls to the floor. Spalding is standing in the doorway, in the same spot…watching Fiona. She walks over to him, he hands her a tissue to wipe the blood away from the knife. She takes seat and says, ‘We don’t need a new supreme, we need a new rug’.

The End.

WTF? So wait are all the young witches except for Nan about to die? Is Madison really dead? What are your thoughts?

American Horror Story: COVEN RECAP

Ahhhhhhhh! Last night was the season 3 premiere of FX’s American Horror Story: Coven. It’s been a long wait for this premiere, and it seemed like fans around the world were expressing their excitement as well on Twitter.


Honestly the episode was mainly the set up of everything, introduction to the premise (which I love)…there weren’t any major spoilers since nothing has really happened yet.


It’s starts off in 1834 New Orleans…slave trade is in high bloom…and Kathy Bates is an evil fat housewife. Her daughter is caught having sex with one of the black slaves so she writes it off as rape and begins to torture the slave….taking him up to the attic where all the other tortured slaves are chained. There’s some with no eyes, some with their mouths sewn shut…and you don’t want to imagine the rest but it is very American Horror Story-esque.

Then it jumps to present day with Taissa Farmiga’s character and she’s sneaking up to her bedroom to have sex with her boyfriend. A few minutes in he starts bleeding from his nose and then goes into full freakout mode with blood coming out of his ears and eyes. She basically kills her boyfriend, but the excuse they used was ‘brain aneurism’. What she really found out was that her great grandmother was a witch…and now she has the witch gene…so somehow her evil power is to kill men while she’s having sex with them. I mean she has other powers…but she hasn’t learned to use them yet. Which is the reason she gets sent to Mrs. Robichaux’s Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies in New Orleans. By this point, the foundation is being shaped and all the little pieces were coming together…I have to say I really love the premise of this new season.

So she arrives at this academy accompanied by Frances Conroy (using real names but she’s the angel lady from last season)…now she’s basically the school’s head hunter…and a little cray cray. Aren’t they all? Then we see the rest of the cast…there’s three other young girl witches- Emma Roberts, Gabourey Sidibey and Jamie Brewer. None of them are very experienced with their powers, but Sarah Paulson’s character has brought them all in to teach them how to survive in a world that still torments women that are considered to be witches.


And then we’re introduced to Ms. Jessica Lange, who we find out is the supreme witch….and is also Sarah Paulson’s mother. After a failed attempt to find a drug that makes her youthful…she decides to leave LA and visit her daughter in New Orleans. For the most part it seems like these two are good people, but they obviously have a troubled relationship. Jessica Lange is dissapointed with Sarah’s character because she wastes her time creating potions and poisons…and as a mother she just wants to see her daughter flourish into a supreme witch like herself.

Emma Roberts’ character is the rebellious one, she’s somewhat of a D-list celebrity and forces Taissa’s character to attend some frat party. It all goes wrong when Emma Roberts is gang raped by some frat douches…Taissa’s busy talking to Evan Peter’s character and realizes Emma’s been missing for a while. They find her in a bedroom…Evan breaks it up and tries fighting his frat brothers. The other guys run outside to their party bus, Evan continues to yell at them until one of the guys punch him out. The bus screeches away, Taissa chases after them and you’re hoping she does something but then Emma runs out to the street and after a few silent seconds the party bus flips into the air and comes crashing down into the flames. Talk about revenge!

The next morning the girls are having breakfast at the home, the bus crash is on the news and Taissa’s praying that her man she just met is still alive. Jessica Lange walks into the kitchen and automatically knows the girls were behind this. Then she tells the 4 girls they’re going on a field trip and is going to teach them something useful. Emma is quick to rebel but bitch don’t you know by now you don’t talk back to Lange. Emma’s literally thrown across the room and hits the wall hard for talking back. Gabourey and Jamie have a short giggle and I’m already loving this dynamic of high school drama meets Sabrina the teenage witch.

On their field trip they visit the former home of Kathy Bates. They see the attic where all the slaves were kept…and then Jamie veers off the tour and finds herself
Outside starring at the covered pavement. Jessica approaches her and asks her what she hears…Jamie replies, ‘the lady of the house’ I love how each girl has her own ability…and were slowly unravelling the journey they’re about to take.

Taissa visits the hospital to see who the two remaining survivors were from the crash. She hopes it’s Evans’ character but it’s not it’s the douchebag. So she starts to have sex with him until his head bursts with blood and he dies. Weird right?

So we find out a big black witch (Angela Bassett) visits Kathy Bates, she gives her a poison to ‘help her husband stay faithful’ but instead the poison ‘kills’ her. The only thing was they never found Kathy’s body.
Later Jessica visits the house again, this time with a construction crew and they dig up Kathy Bates who is legit in the same dress she drank the poison in, and she is fully alive.

So now that Kathy’s still alive does this mean Angela’s alive to?? This season has some amazing characters I can’t wait to see what unfolds. What is Jessica Lange up to! Because we know she didn’t leave Hollyweird for no reason.

I guess this means Evan Peters’ character is dead? Which sucks because he’s always a big role in these seasons. Also the girl who played the nun/devil last season is also a witch ,but the people in her town find out she’s weird so they literally burn her alive. Another reason why Jessica returns to New Orleans, she wants to find all these girls with special abilities and teach them how to practice safe witching.

Loved it loved it! Do Ryan and Brad ever disappoint us? Can’t wait for next week!

American Horror Story: Trailers

The new season of American Horror Story:Coven premieres October 9th on FX.

Have you guys seen the creepy promos for the upcoming season of American Horror Story : Coven?

The promos are 18 second spots of a contemporary house with these weird looking mannequins hanging in all directions off the walls. It is so creepy and doesn’t give much away to the upcoming season which is usually how they doing things at AHS. Take a look at these pics and be very creeped out…and hopefully a little excited.

American Horror Story: Coven trailer 3 (Screengrab)