AHS HOTEL: ‘Room Service’ RECAP


‘I never knew how to live ‘til I died’, ‘You see everything when the world doesn’t see you’ were just some of the fantastic quotes from this week’s episode of American Horror Story: Hotel ‘Room Service’ This season is packed with different through line stories, but with every great Ryan Murphy/Brad Falchuk season it’s the beauty in the little things that make it entertaining.

Tonight, much like this week’s episode of Scream Queens was definitely a filler episode, but that doesn’t mean a filler episode can’t be just as cool.

Chloe Sevigny: Let’s start off with her because that’s how the episode starts. She’s sort of recovering from her vampire transformation, she’s doing the best she can with her pasty white skin and that sickly child with the measles. He’s on the verge of death now and so his mother is finally worried about him. But nothing seems to be working to save the kid, so Chloe takes a quick blood break in the nurse’s closet and swallows a few packs of the red juicy juice. Once her mind is back at ease and her thirst is quenched, she heads back to the boys room and injects his iv with her own blood, passing on the eternal life thingy that Gaga gave to her. So the kids magically healed, his mother is super impressed and takes her child back home just in time for Halloween day at school. Yay! Except the kid can’t even make it to school before he needs his blood supply and ends up killing his own mother in the kitchen, right before catching his yellow school bus!

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Angela B: Is back for a quick scene with Matt Bomer and his sickly mother, who is also in the middle of her transformation. (She was about to die but then her son Matt Bomer gave her the power of eternal life) So basically this vampire curse is just floating around right now and everyone is becoming a bloodsucker. This is low key the beginnings of Fear the Walking Dead right now. So anyways Matt Bomer convinces Angela that his mother can infiltrate the supreme Gaga, and they put her to work.

Kathy Bates: Enters the Hotel Cortez in fear of Gaga finding out that she’s been transformed into a blood sucker. She doesn’t want Gaga to know the truth, so she spends some quality time with Liz Taylor and that guy from Glee. Glee hipster and his hipster girlfriend check into the Cortez on the night of Halloween to get away from all the strollers and whiny kids. They want to smoke and chill in peace, and male hipster heard that the Cortez was owned by famed designer Will Drake so they decide to pop in. Kathy Bates is already been done with their hipster vibes and you already know she’s about to get freaky. But it gets better, the two hipsters order some room service ‘grilled romain and pate’ After taking their order Kathy’s about to have a major meltdown when Liz Taylor steps in and decides to help her. They go to the hotel kitchen where Liz Taylor admits that he’s not actually gay, he just wanted to be a woman and then Kathy bluntly says ‘I look at you and all I see is questions’ and so Liz Taylor throws us into his flashback life circa 1984.

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Liz Taylor: Aka Nick, a man with a family who worked in a field where he would get to fly all over the world and in doing so stay in his very own, very private hotel room. It would be here where he would undress, and dress as a woman. Except this time, he’s visited by Gaga who tells him ‘You walk like a man, dress like a man but smell like a woman’  She offers to help him become the goddess he was meant to be. Isn’t this Lady Gaga in her true self? I love it. And so Liz Taylor becomes Liz Taylor. And then he tells Kathy Bates to do whatever she wants and to not take sh** from nobody. And she goes right up with some cat food dressed as pate and murders both the hipsters with a wine bottle opener. Classic but so good.

Halloween: One of the craziest moments of the season goes to that random kid who had measles. He goes to school, bites the girl he has a crush on, and then everyone is just going buck wild, murdering their teacher then the principal. The school inevitably goes into a lockdown, but when the special forces arrive they’re looking for a man in a black mask, the kids magically know to listen to the kid with the measles and they’re all about to get away with murder. Take that Viola Davis!

Officer John Lowe: Gets fired for telling his boss about the devil’s night dinner with all the serial killers and has sex with Sally

Chloe Sevigny: Is back at the hotel where Gaga tells her she’s going to spend the rest of her life with Holden, but she’ll also be taking care of the other children. Which means Gaga definitely knows something’s up with Kathy Bates and is going to take her out. The final shot of the episode is Holden and his mother getting into his coffin. Ugh so creeps.

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What did you guys think of the episode? What do you guys think of this season so far?

R

AHS Hotel: “Mommy” RECAP

Last night’s episode of American Horror Story: Hotel was jam packed, and if you haven’t seen it yet, read our live recap below. We tried to avoid spoilers, but we got too excited at some parts. Here is our recap with The Sassy Gay:

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@Hollywd_Heroine

Who is he talking to? Ohhhh Evan Peters. Do u think Evan Peters was the drill ass man?

@thesassygay

Oh yea most likely. Tristan is not a good time right now. Thank god for black and white FOR REALS

@Hollywd_Heroine

Friggin’ Naomi Campbell…she’s a bad actress

@thesassygay

Ahhh he’s a ghost man

@Hollywd_Heroine

Yeah yeah

@thesassygay

You were right, he can’t leave. But Tristan can see him why?

@Hollywd_Heroine

He called him, like if he’s in the room and you call him he’ll show up

@thesassygay

Like Edward Mordrake. Okay, I’m really interested to see how this woman [Chloe Sevigny] becomes relevant – maybe to help all the kids in the hotel?

@Hollywd_Heroine

Yeah same she definitely is going to play a big part, she has a voice over? That’s interesting

@thesassygay

Yeah even the detective doesn’t have one

@Hollywd_Heroine

Soulmate? She’s talking about her son. Ryan Murphy has mommy issues for real

@thesassygay

Yeah, she’s happy to be a mother. LOL or very intrigued by the idea of having kids, being a maternal figure. Poor girl Scarlett is telling the truth, we need to listen to kids more

@Hollywd_Heroine

She should’ve told them a more believable story, coffins in an empty pool? Come on girl

@thesassygay

UGH can’t wait for Campbell to peace out – she is AWFUL!

@Hollywd_Heroine

LOL seriously, the irony is really boring ‘ugh models’ like we get it, you’re a model in real life okay

@thesassygay

Lmao in this she’s an “art curator” okay please don’t stretch the truth…and whooop there it is!

@Hollywd_Heroine

Wait so that guy [Max Greenfield] just lives in the mattress?

@thesassygay

Something about that scene made me giggle

@Hollywd_Heroine

Has she [Naomi Campbell] not slept in a bad yet? She’s been there for like two weeks now

@thesassygay

I know she’s dead and bloody but wtf just happened??

@Hollywd_Heroine

Jess B. heard everything!

@thesassygay

OMG EWWW. So Evan Peters can’t leave the hotel so he can’t be doing these murders. He must have a proxy

@Hollywd_Heroine

No it’s definitely not Evan Peters, there’s more layers to this story. WTF is happening to Max Greenberg how convenient…so he can’t talk now

@thesassygay

Of course he peaces out, like was that necessary?

@Hollywd_Heroine

Lol yeah right when he’s about to expose the Hotel I can’t even look at Paulson after that teeth scene

@thesassygay

Sarah Paulson is my favveeee!

@Hollywd_Heroine

Wes Bentley with handcuffs…ALL DAY everyday!

@thesassygay

Honestly Matt Bomer sounds like a baby

@Hollywd_Heroine

I hate that, such a weak excuse blaming his mother

@thesassygay

Daddy issues

@Hollywd_Heroine

Is that Matt? Where is he? Skid Row?

@thesassygay

Ew, that’s gross Matt Bomer, uh oh he’s about to get, ANGELAAAAAA!!!

@Hollywd_Heroine

HAAAAAAY!!

@thesassygay

YAAS QUEEN YAAAAAS!

@Hollywd_Heroine

Angela is baaaaaaaaaaack!

@thesassygay

LMAO she’s like  I don’t want you to be at home

@Hollywd_Heroine

LOL she’s like ya you need to go. I feel like he’s [Wes Bentley] going to become a killer

@thesassygay

For sure

@Hollywd_Heroine

He’s on the edge of glory [wink]

@thesassygay

Oooh, chateau margot, he is too gay to function LMAO and they just called him out on it. hahahaha

@Hollywd_Heroine

He’s so dreamy

@thesassygay

I like Gaga, I think she’s doing a good job

@Hollywd_Heroine

She’s turning gay men into straight. Woah

@thesassygay

Lol if anyone can do it, it would be GAGA

@Hollywd_Heroine

Bernie Madoff?!? lol

@thesassygay

He’s in this storyline!?!

@Hollywd_Heroine

Oh she’s going to marry/kill (maybe f***) dreamy gay rich guy

@thesassygay

Right right I figured that’s her game. OMG Wes Bentley is pulling a Lamar Odom ‘I’m so sick please stay, please stay’

@Hollywd_Heroine

OMG STOP. It’s too soon LOL. But still so good

@thesassygay

She’ll see Holdon now

@Hollywd_Heroine

Woah he remembers her? OMG no Kathy Bates!

@thesassygay

Poor Kathy!

@Hollywd_Heroine

“I want nothing more than the dark silence of death itself” Great line.

@thesassygay

OMG Angela really is Beyonce

@Hollywd_Heroine

OMG is she a vampire to? LMAO She Buffy?

@thesassygay

He has the power of eternal life. OMG I LOVE THIS SHE IS MY HEROO

@Hollywd_Heroine

LOL she’s amazing

@thesassygay

lezbihonest

@Hollywd_Heroine

OMG GAGA IS INSANE. That’s the cutest thing…them over the years!

@thesassygay

Elevator evolution

@Hollywd_Heroine

Ok I’m in love, who is this DMX wannabe?

@thesassygay

Let’s see those eyes up close and personal

@Hollywd_Heroine

He’s DMX but hotter, oh f***

@thesassygay

Omg noooo, the hottie rapper

@Hollywd_Heroine

Woah!

@thesassygay

She’s all about revenge, this is COVEN all over again! Come on

@Hollywd_Heroine

But it’s working, this is the game

@thesassygay

I really like Liz Taylor, she slays. Kathy Bates is passed out on drugs?

@Hollywd_Heroine

This sh** is happening too quickly, where was his epiphany all along?

@thesassygay

I’m glad she said it, because I’m like that is some type of irony

@Hollywd_Heroine

So she’s going to live forever now?

@thesassygay

Yeah, it was a good episode. Thankfully it wasn’t as gruesome or raunchy. I was excited to see Angela Bassett come THRU.But for reals, I think it’s a little dumb that she’s like “imma get back at her ‘cuz she got back at me” it truly is Coven all over again “someone working on the inside, I’mma kill her babies” i feel like she says the exact same line in Coven about the girls on Halloween night. There are so many stories moving at the same time, I don’t even know what the main through line is anymore, it’s like little pockets in each room –but it definitely works for this season

@Hollywd_Heroine

Agreed. I felt like that storyline in Coven worked though, so I’m excited, and realistically those children need to be saved so I’m glad there’s someone actually doing something about it. Or not, she might kill them so we’ll see

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AHS Freak Show: 7 Day Countdown

It’s the first day of October, and for some this month can be a horrible reminder of the ensuing winter climate. For others, including myself, October is all about the cool autumn air, sweater weather, pumpkin spice lattes and of course – AMERICAN HORROR STORY!!

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I’ve been waiting for this one since the end of last season’s finale, every season is a new story, a new theme, and an even scarier world to jump into and that’s what makes AHS one of the best shows on TV. (The best in my opinion sorry GoT!) If you haven’t read up on this season yet, here is a quick overview:

Freak Show will be the 4th season of American Horror Story (each season is separate from the other, characters, stories, locations all change with the release of a new season-  so don’t worry about catching up) This season is set in 1952 Jupiter,Florida telling the story of one of the last remaining freak shows in America. Returning cast members from previous seasons include, Jessica Lange (she has announced this will be her last season), Sarah Paulson, Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, Emma Roberts, Gabourey Sidibe,Evan Peters, Denis O’Hare, and Frances Conroy. This fourth season will also include new additions Michael Chiklis and Patti Labelle (playing Gabourey’s mother)

Okay so if that cast isn’t reason enough, Ryan Murphy announced to a fan on Twitter that Jessica Lange will be singing a Lana Del Ray cover. No word on Lana actually being in an episode, but with last season’s Stevie Nick’s cameo chances are high, and our fingers are crossed.

Here is a compilation trailer that someone put together of all the Freak Show promos.

American Horror Story: Freak Show premieres next week October 8th 2014 on FX.

TOP 10: TV Characters You Wish You Were Friends With

We all have our favourite characters in TV, whether we see a little of ourselves in them or we just plain out love what they stand for- we sometimes wish they could be real. We’re counting down the Top 10 TV Characters You Wish You Were Friends With – that’s if they existed in the real world of course.

 

10. Sheldon Cooper (Big Bang Theory)

It’s always good to have a friend that’s a genius. Like for instance when you’re at a restaurant and the bill comes, he can figure out how much everyone owes plus tips within seconds. And the best part, he doesn’t mind being the braniac friend!

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9. Vincent Chase (Entourage)

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It’s good to have friends in high places. Okay so maybe he’s not Oprah Winfrey high but he’s got a fun loving entourage and a sick party pad. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with Vincent Chase? Dibs on Turtle.

 

8. Rayna James (Nashville)

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Is like the country singer version of Celine Dion. She’s almost as famous as Vincent Chase- well she’s like Nashville famous not Hollywood famous. Regardless, it would be a good time being on road with her, okay so maybe she’s a little old- but she always knows how to have a good time. Since getting into an accident with drunk Deacon behind the wheel, Rayna takes extra precautions when going drinking with her girlfriends. She hires private cars to drive her drunk friends around awesome, right?

 

7 . Spencer Hastings (Pretty Little Liars)

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Whether your friend is dead and sending you letters from the grave- or you just want to know who stole your new sunglasses…having a friend that’s uber smart and calculating is always a plus. Spencer Hastings gets her smarts from her parents (lawyers) and is obviously the only one that attempts putting the puzzle together. Her devotion to the cause, and her probability of being the designated driver (she always wants to have a clear head) makes her a perfect candidate for best friend status.

 

6. Queenie (American Horror Story: Coven)

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This girl can enjoy a party size pizza while conjuring up spells for any ex boy or mean girl that’s been bad to you. Not only does she specialize in voodoo, she proves she is a top qualifier for supreme witch. She can bring things back to life, move things, levitate, start fires…you get the deal. She’s the perfect person to have by your side, and if you’ve had too much to drink and there’s no DD in sight…she can magically transport you back to your cozy warm bed.

 

5. Dexter or Michonne (Dexter/The Walking Dead)

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This one was tough. You always want that one friend who can kick total ass. They usually have a famous weapon they resort to using, Michonne has her Katana and she absolutely kills with it. Dexter doesn’t have a specific weapon he’s just really clean when he murders people, which is a good thing. You don’t just want to kill your enemy, you wanna get away with it. Michonne is good to have around just in case you decide to get dreads- you wouldn’t be the only crazy looking one. And if Dexter was your homie, he’d most likely bring Deb around and she seems like a hell of a good time. She’s always drinking her face away.

 

4. Shoshana (Girls)

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Coming off of last Sunday’s episode of Girls where Shoshana absolutely loses her s*** she would be the most honest friend you have. She had no shame in letting it all hang out, even if it meant hurting people’s feelings. Honesty is the best policy, and if you can wake up the next morning and move on as if things are better, then you’ve found the one. Also her super cute NYC condo is an extra plus.

 

3. Tina Fey (30 Rock)

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I’m confused as to whether or not I would want Tina as my mother or my friend. As a friend I feel like she would just want to sit at home and write…but as a mom she would be totally cool! You would be the funniest kid ever- I mean your mom is Tina Fey, right? You could get weekly tickets to the taping of Saturday Night Live, Amy Poehler would be like your godmother…it would be the perfect life.  Plus everytime you watch Mean Girls with your girlfriends you could be like, “My mom wrote that!”

 

2. Khaleesi (Game of Thrones)

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We’re getting down to the bottom two! This is so exciting, what would you do if Khaleesi was your homegirl? Well let’s get this clear, I definitely would only want to be her homegirl after the dragons were born. Before she was a slave to her brother. I hate seeings my friends in tough situations. Although I definitely would’ve liked to be a bridesmaid at her wedding to Khal Drogo- that wedding looked f%@#!$ crazy, in a good way. I’m not sure if Khaleesi gets her drink on, lately she’s been so focused on ruling the world and being a good mother to her dragons. But if she were to start slammin’ the bottle, we would have the times of our lives. You could either hitch a ride home with your dragon or one of the 10000 unsullied could carry you on their muscular tanned shoulders. The downside, it seems like Khaleesi’s close friends prefer not to wear any clothing…and they usually end up dead. So I’m a little hesitant, that’s why she’s in second.

 

 

1. Olivia Pope (Scandal)

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Would be my best friend/sister for life. She’s so real and so smart, okay well she has this huge secret of having an affair with the President but I’m sure she would tell me if we were best friends. She has the best sense of style out of everyone on this list (yes even you Shoshana). She’s so popular she gets all the designer hook ups. I haven’t seen the party girl side of Olivia yet, she usually opts for the secret getaways with her President lover, but I mean- no yeah she never goes out. She does love her wine, girls night in is always fun so I guess we wouldn’t really need a DD for that. She has daddy issues- who doesn’t.

At the end of the day, if you had a problem she would come running in her Louboutins and she would fix the s*** out of them. You wouldn’t have to pay her and her lecture/rants would feel like second nature to you.

Don’t forget to comment below and let me know what you think. If we missed anyone special on our list let us know, that’s what best friends are for.

UPCOMING: THIS WEEK IN TV!!

If you didn’t know now you know- this week is a huge week for TV fans. The return of some of your fav shows are just around the corner so we’re going to celebrate!

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First off, for all the American Horror Story fans, last night was the return of the witches after a painful three week hiatus. Okay so I was super excited for the new episode but I have to say it kind of let me down. What do you guys think? I forgot how the last episode ended off, forgot how much I hated Emma Roberts and completely forgot that Nan’s boyfriend was dead! Okay so I have bad memory but I thought I’d be more ‘in tune’. Ending off the way they did a few weeks back, the show was on fire! I definitely think the show lost some momentum when they went on break- I was just like ohhh right all this s*@! did happen.

Stevie Nicks made an appearance on last night’s episode. She played a few songs by the piano- really cool. I was excited for Misty, after all she is a huge Stevie Nicks fan and I never imagined witches could get starstruck and faint. We still don’t know for sure who the next supreme will be, seems like this is the biggest question still lingering. We do know that Marie and Fiona are on the same team now- they’re working together to bring all the witch hunters down. I mean really, in the end…it all comes down to Girls VS Guys. Am I right or am I right?

G I R L S

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Speaking of Girls- the new season of HBO’s Girls airs this Sunday with two brand new episodes! Whose excited? I don’t know what to expect this season, from the promos it looks like the girls might get a taste of success, which is a good thing since I’m tired of seeing them miserable. Marnie is up in the air with Charlie since he got kicked off the show-I hope she gets the singing career she’s always wanted because her rendition of Kanye West’s ‘Stronger’ was friggin’ amazing. As long as we don’t run into Booth Jonathan- we’ll be okay.

Check out the trailer below:

The new season of Girls premieres Sunday January 12th 2014 on HBO.

S H A M E L E S S

Shameless

Then there’s the Season 4 premiere of Shameless. One of the best TV shows out there, it is absolutely brilliant/sad/funny all at the same time and it’s an addiction. If there’s a show you want to watch this season, it has to be Shameless.  You’ll fall in love with the family instantly.

Check out the trailer below:

Shameless Season four premieres Sunday January 12th 2014 on Showtime.

American Horror Story: Coven ‘RECAP’

Last night’s episode of American Horror Story:Coven was the CRAZIEST episode by far this season! SPOILER ALERT!!! If you haven’t seen the episode, you need to go home right now and watch it because it was 60 minutes of brilliant television!

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Just when you think the episode is over- it’s not…and it unleashed a handful of new secrets. A lot of questions were answered last night so let’s get right into it.

The Axeman

The episode opens up to New Orleans in 1919, the city has a dangerous serial killer/jazz fanatic lurking the streets, he’s out to get women with his axe, especially women who aren’t fans of the jazz. The Axeman reports to the local newspaper that he’s going to kill anyone that isn’t playing jazz music- so of course these sassy witches at Miss Robichaux’s (the cven used to be jam packed with practicing witches) decide to defy the Axeman and play opera instead. When he walks by the  gated entranceway, he finds the gate a little open and decides to walk in. The house is quiet, he walks up to one of the bedrooms, where one of the witches (Meryl Streep’s daughter) is using her tarot cards. She unfolds the last card that has a picture of death, just when Axeman swings his axe, the witch dissapears and reappears behind him, she stabs him and then the rest of her sassy sisters emerge from the darkness and continue to stab the Axeman…killing him. Or so we think.

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Zoe’s Putting In Work

Zoe is determined to figure out what happened to Madison, and since the older women don’t seem to be protecting them- Zoe makes it clear to Nan and Queenie that they need to protect themselves. When Zoe’s searching through Madison’s things, one of the bottles goes flying into the closet and points to a secret hole in the wall. In there, Zoe finds an old spirit board. When she brings it to Nan and Queenie, they both refuse to play along because everyone knows nothing comes out of weejie boards. Zoe convinces them, reminding them they are one of the last witches and they need to protect each other. Even if that means finding out where their other witch sister has dissapeared to. The spirit board connects to a spirit in the house, he introduces himself as The Axeman. As if the name doesn’t scare them off, Zoe continues asking questions- like where is Madison? The spirit replies ‘attic’. Zoe goes up to the attic and finds Madison’s dead body in the room. After a brief struggle with Spalding (he can’t fight), Zoe brings up the other girls and they start asking him questions- like who killed Madison? Nan can read his mind, so it’s the only way to hear what he’s saying. He obviously covers up for Fiona and tells the girls that he killed her. Zoe doesn’t believe it, Spalding’s been around witches for a very long time, it wouldn’t surprise her that he’s learned some tricks along the way.

At Misty’s cottage, she’s enjoying her isolation with some more Stevie Nicks until Kyle (Frankenboy) shows up at the door. He’s all dirty so Misty decides to bathe him. During the bath Kyle has flashbacks of his mother abusing him and starts to freak out. He runs around her cottage naked- screaming (more like grunting), smashing things, he grabs Misty’s cassette player and destroys it. That’s it, Misty’s had enough- just then Zoe shows up. Misty is pissed off, which is surprising coming from her because she’s alwas in the weird hippy relaxed state. Anyways, Misty tells Zoe to get Kyle out of there…’He broke Stevie’. But Zoe has a plan, and it requires Misty!

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Back at the house, Zoe shows Misty the dead body of Madison. It absolutely stinks, she has a missing arm, and Misty tells Zoe she can’t do anything ‘there’s too much death inside her’ because she’s been dead for too long. Zoe tells Misty to try anyways, Misty tries for a few seconds but nothing happens. Misty asks Zoe to push on her stomach…they’re both using their energy- and then Madison starts coughing- first blood comes out, a few maggots…and then finally a ginormous cockroach. Madison’s first words were ‘I need a cigarette’.

Later, the colour in Madison’s face hasn’t even come back when they start asking her if she remembers who killed her. She remembers seeing red…and then nothing else.

Marie’s secret informant

So who knew that Marie Laveau had a secret informant in Delia’s crazy husband. Turns out he’s not really crazy- he’s just a sworn witch hunter. Whhaaaaaaaaat?! I’m still recovering from this twist, but of course it’s AHS- this stuff is bound to happen. So basically Marie hired Delia’s husband years ago to infiltrate the Salem witch coven and kill them all. He’s a legit witch hunter…and guess who the red head was? Yep she was a witch to. A quick flashback scene shows the red head girl sitting with Delia whose trying to convinve Red she needs to learn how to control her powers. Red has the power of settings things on fire, but she admits she doesn’t want any of it, she just wants to be a housewife with 3 kids. Marie is pissed off at what’s his face for taking so long to kill everyone. She accuses him of falling in love with Delia, he denies it, but maybe it’s true? Marie tells him he better go over there now and bring all their heads to her or she’s going to kill him. Oh and Marie wasn’t the one who burned Delia’s eyes. Marie tells him if she wanted Delia blind, she could’ve done it from her chair. Which is exactly what I was thinking. She’s so above that!

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Delia

Delia’s back from the hospital. Fiona and her husband are by her side, but when her man touches her again, Delia sees everything. She says, ‘it took me to go blind to see everything more clearly’- oh the irony. Delia tells him she can see everything, he tells her she’s probably just high from her medication. She tells him to leave the room. Fiona says she wanted to rip his arms out and kill him…but she refrained. Maybe she should’ve because he’s going to be back to kill them! Later, Delia escapes to her bedroom. As she’s getting into bed, the camera moves away from her and we see The Axeman sitting in her room. He tells her that the young witch promised him release- and if he doesn’t get it he’s going to kill her.

Zoe,Nan and Queenie hurry to find a spell to save Delia. Zoe (another reason why she’s supreme) scans the library of spell books without opening any of them. She instinctively knows which one’s going to help her and then proceeds to read the spell. Then,without a noise The Axeman is gone.

He walks out the front door with his briefcase in his hand, walks up to the gate…opens it and walks down the street. So he’s free now!

AHS COVEN: TONIGHT’S NEW EPISODE

Don’t forget there’s an all new episode of American Horror Story: Coven tonight!! Things are getting absolutely crazy- Delia’s blind but she can see things clearly now (literally things she couldn’t see before like her husband being a cheating murderer), Marie looks like she’s popped off and is seeking ultimate revenge against the white witches…and most importantly what will happen between Nan and her boy toy? (That last one was a joke but seriously- this episode is going to be cray)

All that and more. Watch.

 

P.S- Where is Evan Peter’s (Frankenstein) and is he going to return to Zoe?? Can’t forget about that.

AHS: COVEN “Burn, Witch Burn!”

Wednesday’s are my new fave day because of American Horror Story. Tonight there is an all new episode called ‘Burn, Witch Burn!’…we’ll find out what happened to Delia in the bar bathroom, maybe more about her psychotic husband, it looked like he was really pissed off at whoever burned her face.

American Horror Story: Coven airs Wednesday nights on FX / FX Canada at 10pm/EST.

American Horror Story: ‘The Replacements’ RECAP

Okay, we need to talk about this. WTF went down last night on American Horror Story? Is this episode called ‘The Replacements’ because everyone is being replaced? Oh- guess I should mention…SPOILER ALERTS!

The Fam

It’s 1971, and Fiona is a young, beautiful witch. She’s having a conversation with an older woman who we find out is the supreme witch of her generation. Fiona doesn’t partake in activities with the other witches, her focus is being a supreme and proving to the elderly she has what it takes. But the old woman laughs Fiona off, reminding her what she had to go through to become a supreme.

Then Fiona fights back, the old woman is dying she says, she has diabetes and heart problems, she’s not fit to be a supreme anymore. Then Fiona cuts the old woman’s throat and kills her on the living room floor of Miss Robichaux’s. The camera zooms out and we can see Spalding (the butler) watching over her.

Jump back to the present, Fiona’s sitting at a bar looking stunning as always. Her voice drifts in with a beautiful monologue voice over I wish I could remember. Then we see a handsome guy, he looks over in her direction, then starts walking towards her. She talks about being young and being sexy, how every man wanted her, “My partners have been princes and starving artists, Greek gods and clowns.” All the men she had, thought they were leading her, but to Fiona they were just ‘primitive, beautiful animals’, so she led them by the collar. And then the camera zooms out and the handsome man has arrived at his target point, a group of young girls, while Fiona is in the background by the bar, watching them. It was such an amazing scene, everything she is, everything she is about is literally summed up in that 20 second monologue. I love this show.

SUPREME

After Delia finds out she for sure can’t have any kids, her only option is to visit Marie (Angela Bassett). Marie tells her she can do the fertility spell, then the episode cuts into a video montage of Marie acting out the spell in a weird ‘dancing circle with semen on a fire act’. It cuts back to her salon and Delia is worried but excited. Then Marie tells her it will cost 50k…Delia swears she will somehow come up with the money. Then Marie tells her…she won’t do the spell. Ever. Marie tells Delia she will never do anything for her because Delia’s mother is her sworn enemy. Delia sits there with tears in her eyes.

After Zoe meets Kyle’s mother she decides she’s going to bring Kyle back to her. The mother admits she was ready to hang herself when she got the phone call from Zoe. Meanwhile, Misty and Kyle are back inside the cabin. Misty is blasting Stevie Nicks, who apparently made all these songs about witches and spirits and is Ryan Murphy’s close friend, so now they’re using her music. Zoe arrives to pick up her boyfriend, Misty shows off Kyle’s scars- or lack there of. He’s almost fully healed, well his body, he’s still a mute motionless man. Zoe picks him up and promises she’ll return for Misty. Only Misty doesn’t believe her.

Back to Miss Robichaux’s house, there’s a new neighbour in town and he is smokin’ hot! The girls are spying on him while he’s shirtless, until his mother walks up and sees them watching. She yells at him to come back in the house and put a shirt on. It sparked an interesting conversation between the girls. Nan confidently admits she’s not a virgin, Queenie on the other hand proclaimed she was saving herself for someone special. And Madison…we already know the answer to that. Later, Nan decides to bake a cake for the hottie and take it over. Her and Madison show up at the house, the mother is apalled by Madison’s wardrobe, Nan is too cute, she totally reads hot guy’s mind. (I think I want that superpower) He loves the cake and hates the attention Madison is craving. Ohhhh yeahh, hot guys a good guy!

Witches

Hot guy’s mom is a crazy church lady, after Madison uses her witch powers to throw the knife to the wall, the mother demands the they leave her house immediately. On the way out, Madison lights the curtains on fire, Nan looks at her, “I didn’t know you could do that” Madison replies, “Me either”. Does this mean Madison could be the next supreme? She can throw things and light things on fire…she has two powers…this isn’t looking good for Fiona.

Kathy Bates was by far the funniest thing on last night’s episode. She’s starring at the TV…balling her eyes out as she watches President Obama deliver a speech. She’s not crying because she’s proud, she’s crying because a black man is being named President. She doesn’t believe it until Fiona walks in and tells her what she’s missed over the last century.

Zoe returns Kyle back to his mother. She leaves them alone. Kyle’s mother is crazy, after seeing him in the shower she asks him where his body came from. He looks bigger, he doesn’t look like the boy she knew. And boy did she ‘raise’ him…she starts touching Kyle in all the wrong places and we see a better picture of Kyle’s background. Later, when he can’t take it anymore, he whacks his mother to death with an old sports trophy. Zoe visits him a few hours later, she sees his mother’s dead body…and then sees him covered in blood.

Back at the house, Kathy Bates and Queenie are fixing dinner. Correction, Kathy Bates is now a house slave for Queenie….oh how the roles have been reversed. Queenie demands Kathy bake her a peach cobbler…while they’re busy yapping away at each other, they hear a grunt coming from outside. Kathy Bates knows right away who it is. It’s the half bull half man guy at her door!

Queenie yells at Kathy to go upstairs, she’ll take care of this. Queenie steps outisde, at first it looks like she’s got everything under control- and then she starts looking afraid. She calls the animal over, and lures him into the backyard area. Then out of nowhere, she starts touching herself!!! I guess she tries to turn the bull on? It looks like he’s feeling it, until the bull gets behind her…and then grabs her face. Cut Scene! Whaaaaaaaat?!?!!?

Finally, Fiona decides to spend some quality time with Madison. She finds out that Madison lit the curtains on fire and is immediately suspicious new girl might be the new supreme. They spend a night on the town getting hammered, except Madison is actually downing the shots and Fiona is just pretending to drink. [Side Note: Fiona visits her doctor earlier and finds out she has cancer, her immune system is shutting down, she’s dying.]

SupremeNExt

Then, the unthinkable happens. Fiona and Madison return home, they start talking and Fiona admits to Madison that she might be the next supreme. Madison laughs it off. Fiona grabs the knife (they’re standing in the same spot where Fiona killed the elderly supreme) she begs Madison to kill her. She’s already dying and wants to die. Madison calls her crazy she refuses to grab the knife, in the scuffle of screaming and pushing, Fiona slices Madison’s throat and the young girl falls to the floor. Spalding is standing in the doorway, in the same spot…watching Fiona. She walks over to him, he hands her a tissue to wipe the blood away from the knife. She takes seat and says, ‘We don’t need a new supreme, we need a new rug’.

The End.

WTF? So wait are all the young witches except for Nan about to die? Is Madison really dead? What are your thoughts?

American Horror Story: COVEN RECAP

Ahhhhhhhh! Last night was the season 3 premiere of FX’s American Horror Story: Coven. It’s been a long wait for this premiere, and it seemed like fans around the world were expressing their excitement as well on Twitter.

SPOILER ALERT!

Honestly the episode was mainly the set up of everything, introduction to the premise (which I love)…there weren’t any major spoilers since nothing has really happened yet.

kathy_bates_coven

It’s starts off in 1834 New Orleans…slave trade is in high bloom…and Kathy Bates is an evil fat housewife. Her daughter is caught having sex with one of the black slaves so she writes it off as rape and begins to torture the slave….taking him up to the attic where all the other tortured slaves are chained. There’s some with no eyes, some with their mouths sewn shut…and you don’t want to imagine the rest but it is very American Horror Story-esque.

Then it jumps to present day with Taissa Farmiga’s character and she’s sneaking up to her bedroom to have sex with her boyfriend. A few minutes in he starts bleeding from his nose and then goes into full freakout mode with blood coming out of his ears and eyes. She basically kills her boyfriend, but the excuse they used was ‘brain aneurism’. What she really found out was that her great grandmother was a witch…and now she has the witch gene…so somehow her evil power is to kill men while she’s having sex with them. I mean she has other powers…but she hasn’t learned to use them yet. Which is the reason she gets sent to Mrs. Robichaux’s Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies in New Orleans. By this point, the foundation is being shaped and all the little pieces were coming together…I have to say I really love the premise of this new season.

So she arrives at this academy accompanied by Frances Conroy (using real names but she’s the angel lady from last season)…now she’s basically the school’s head hunter…and a little cray cray. Aren’t they all? Then we see the rest of the cast…there’s three other young girl witches- Emma Roberts, Gabourey Sidibey and Jamie Brewer. None of them are very experienced with their powers, but Sarah Paulson’s character has brought them all in to teach them how to survive in a world that still torments women that are considered to be witches.

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And then we’re introduced to Ms. Jessica Lange, who we find out is the supreme witch….and is also Sarah Paulson’s mother. After a failed attempt to find a drug that makes her youthful…she decides to leave LA and visit her daughter in New Orleans. For the most part it seems like these two are good people, but they obviously have a troubled relationship. Jessica Lange is dissapointed with Sarah’s character because she wastes her time creating potions and poisons…and as a mother she just wants to see her daughter flourish into a supreme witch like herself.

Emma Roberts’ character is the rebellious one, she’s somewhat of a D-list celebrity and forces Taissa’s character to attend some frat party. It all goes wrong when Emma Roberts is gang raped by some frat douches…Taissa’s busy talking to Evan Peter’s character and realizes Emma’s been missing for a while. They find her in a bedroom…Evan breaks it up and tries fighting his frat brothers. The other guys run outside to their party bus, Evan continues to yell at them until one of the guys punch him out. The bus screeches away, Taissa chases after them and you’re hoping she does something but then Emma runs out to the street and after a few silent seconds the party bus flips into the air and comes crashing down into the flames. Talk about revenge!

The next morning the girls are having breakfast at the home, the bus crash is on the news and Taissa’s praying that her man she just met is still alive. Jessica Lange walks into the kitchen and automatically knows the girls were behind this. Then she tells the 4 girls they’re going on a field trip and is going to teach them something useful. Emma is quick to rebel but bitch don’t you know by now you don’t talk back to Lange. Emma’s literally thrown across the room and hits the wall hard for talking back. Gabourey and Jamie have a short giggle and I’m already loving this dynamic of high school drama meets Sabrina the teenage witch.

On their field trip they visit the former home of Kathy Bates. They see the attic where all the slaves were kept…and then Jamie veers off the tour and finds herself
Outside starring at the covered pavement. Jessica approaches her and asks her what she hears…Jamie replies, ‘the lady of the house’ I love how each girl has her own ability…and were slowly unravelling the journey they’re about to take.

Taissa visits the hospital to see who the two remaining survivors were from the crash. She hopes it’s Evans’ character but it’s not it’s the douchebag. So she starts to have sex with him until his head bursts with blood and he dies. Weird right?

So we find out a big black witch (Angela Bassett) visits Kathy Bates, she gives her a poison to ‘help her husband stay faithful’ but instead the poison ‘kills’ her. The only thing was they never found Kathy’s body.
Later Jessica visits the house again, this time with a construction crew and they dig up Kathy Bates who is legit in the same dress she drank the poison in, and she is fully alive.

So now that Kathy’s still alive does this mean Angela’s alive to?? This season has some amazing characters I can’t wait to see what unfolds. What is Jessica Lange up to! Because we know she didn’t leave Hollyweird for no reason.

I guess this means Evan Peters’ character is dead? Which sucks because he’s always a big role in these seasons. Also the girl who played the nun/devil last season is also a witch ,but the people in her town find out she’s weird so they literally burn her alive. Another reason why Jessica returns to New Orleans, she wants to find all these girls with special abilities and teach them how to practice safe witching.

Loved it loved it! Do Ryan and Brad ever disappoint us? Can’t wait for next week!