Hiatus officially over! We are back in bidness with brand new blog posts, tv recaps, podcasts, more! But first, let’s discuss season 5 of Game of Thrones because really we need time to heal.
10. Stannis burns his daughter
Okay this wasn’t that much of a surprise because we all know when GoT builds characters with an emotional back story it’s only to tear and rip them to shreds. By the end of the season Stannis is in a pretty sh**ty position and decides his only option is to listen to the Red Woman and burn his daughter alive! Like you couldn’t of killed her first and then burned her? Welp, it doesn’t work in his favor and Stannis miserably loses the battle if you can even call it that. All I can say is Melisandre you best be using some of that magic on our boy next season.
9. Sansa and Littlefinger in the tombs
Arguably one of the most important scenes of the 5th season (holy were actually in the 5th season?!) The discussion of Jon Snow’s mother and whether or not Ned Stark was actually Jon’s father has always lingered in the shadows for die hard GoT fans. This season we finally heard whispers (Littlefinger) and stories (Ser Barristan RIP) about Rhaegar Targaryen and his love for Lyanna Stark – Ned’s sister. Hmm, could this possibly mean Jon was never Ned’s stark but instead the child of his deceased sister? Which would mean Rhaegar was Lyanna’s baby daddy, and Catelyn stark got jealous of a made up prostitute for no reason! Littlefinger hints something at the sort to Sansa in the Winterfell tombs but she’s too busy worrying about her wedding night to think anything of it. Girl where yo head at?
8. Jon Snow and white walker fight
This was definitely the battle of the season, sorry Sons of Harpees and Stannis – that wasn’t even a battle bro. When Jon Snow arrives at Hardhome all eyes our on our ginger lumbersexual- lol ahem I mean duh the wildlings. And then duh THE FREAKIN’ ZOMBIFIED WHITE WALKERS TOBOGGANING OFF THAT CLIFF THO. Nobody was expecting it, especially the wildlings woman kissing her daughter goodbye like girl showing emotion gets you killed off this show no surprise there. The battle leads to a one-on-one fight between Jon Snow and one of the grandpa white walkers. Jon heads for the cabin that has all the dragon glass and by all I mean like one piece. He can’t get to it and instead grabs his sword because his is the biggest and baddest (insert dirty look emoji) and surprisingly blocks grandpas blade and then stabs it through him killing the White Walker. Which tells us that dragon glass isn’t the only thing that can kill a white walker. Which leads me to believe everyone needs to get their butts over to Valyria and start diggin”! UPDATE: Lumbersexual made it out alive, no hairs were burned or harmed during this scene. Phew.
7. Arya says goodbye to herself
As a book reader I always loved Arya’s storyline. And although I didn’t get through all the books I did get pretty far with Arya’s storyline at the house of black and white. Loved it, because who didn’t love Kill Bill? Bad ass birches getting sh*t done. We’re all about the heroines. Okay. So loved this scene the way it was shot was beautiful. How a scene with no dialogue brings such emotion is absolutely brilliant and is a testament to how filmmaking can do so much with so little (and by little I mean words not money because they definitely have a lot of that). I just love the irony in all of this, how the one person who wants to remember her past, who is only motivated by the names of these horrible people has to literally give that all up to move forward. When she pulls out needle and contemplates on getting rid of it, you remember everything’s she’s been through, and needle is the only thing that’s seen it all just as she has. It’s heartbreaking and powerful and will probably be one of my favourite scenes of the series. FYI, she doesn’t give up needle, she hides it.
6. Tyrion and Khaleesi
Okay so I’ll admit it. I never thought in the beginning or even last season that Tyrion’s journey would lead to Khaleesi but it all makes sense now and I love it! Of course she needs his help, let’s be real here, Khaleesi, Tyrion, and Jon Snow are the trifecta of George R.R Martin’s books. They’re his favourite characters, they will have to meet at some point. But of course it takes him more than half the season to get to her but it was so worth it! And home girl was looking on point when Tyrion showed himself at the fighting pits! Huge scene, not just because we’ve been waiting, well some of us, but we were waiting for them to meet, but also what it means for the future of the show. Looks like Tyrion will finally get to try his hand at ruling a kingdom.
5. Arya gets Kill Bill
Finally we get some revenge! When Arya spots Ser Maryn Trant at the docks in Braavos she knows what’s up. She follows him like a paparazzi all day, until he ends up at the whore house where we learn he’s also a pedophile. But Arya’s like next level right now so she wastes no time in borrowing one of the many faces to sneak into the whore house and stab that a**hole in both his eyes and then continues to stab him in the stomach a few more times. Wasn’t it great? And then, because she doesn’t consider herself better, or just because she felt like it she gets down on his level, to her knees, tells him who she is. Arya Stark! He babbles and we as the audience get that he gets she’s Arya Stark. It all clicked, we felt it. And then she slits his throat. Ohhhh yeah. Then she loses her eyes but girl do not give up!
4. Khaleesi gets kidnapped?
Yes this has a question mark at the end because does she get kidnapped in the season finale or does she get swarmed and celebrated by her original OG people? Because really, they need to stop yelling, or create a distinct yelling sound that express danger as opposed to like a celebratory yelling. I mean I would love to think they’re cheering her on, and welcoming her back to their squad, but that’s probably not the case. However, I do think this is the perfect opportunity to show just how smart and brave she can be on her own. She’s always been surrounded by her protectors and obviously her dragons, but I think Our Queen will come out of this even stronger, and who knows maybe they will join her regime. Because clearly the Unsullied aren’t doing their jobs properly.
3. Cersei’s walk of shame
This scene is award worthy. Not for the CGi because some of us could really tell Lena Heady’s head wasn’t really on dat bod. But damn those writers sure got it right when they figured out how to shame Cersei Lannister. I don’t think this is the end of her sadly, but it was an amazing scene that I think needed to happen in this season. If it wasn’t for a bunch of crazier things that happened after that, people would still be talking about that walk.
2. Khaleesi rides a dragon
YAAAAS QUEEN. This scene in the fighting pits was absolutely cray cray. The Sons of Harpees reveal themselves at the fighting pits surrounding Our Queen and her people. Ser Jorah saves the day but real talk Drogon saved the day. At the last second as Khaleesi and her people are basically done for, Khaleesi closes her eyes, and we hear Drogon! Drogon swoops in burns a whole bunch of Harpees, and then waits for his mama to get enough courage to hop on dat and ride off into the sunset. I love how Dario and Ser Jorah try and try but they’ll never be a dragon, the thirst. But really boys, don’t stop because she still needs your help. That animal got her lost. So, I also loved this scene because in that same episode Shireen dies. And if you recall Shireen showed us and Ser Davos that in her storybooks princesses do fly on dragons. Ugh so cute.
1. Jon Snow’s dead….but not really
A BIG LOL @ everyone who thinks Jon Snow is dead. You guys really think his journey is done? Ya think Melisandre is going to give up on that D? Hell no. I did not for a second believe he’s dead. Okay technically he’s dead, but he’s coming back. Because hello, people do come back in GoT world and don’t think we don’t know about Lady Stoneheart! I see you DW + DB. Trying to trick us with these fake interviews and sh*t. No.
Did we miss anything? Comment below let’s discuss.