The People V. O.J: I Literally Can’t Even

“I literally did not realize he was a lawyer” and “You can’t put the genie back in the bottle” were just some of the great lines from this week’s episode of American Crime Story: The People V. O.J Simpson. I honestly can’t tell if the show is getting better by the episodes or am I getting used to the amount of cheesy expositional writing that is happening right now.

Johnny Cochran

This episode was all about the dream team convincing Johnny Cochran to get on board with the O.J case. “Behind every good man is a great woman” (I’m surprised they didn’t use this line in the episode) But seriously, it only took 30 seconds for Johnny’s wife to basically convince him to take the O.J case. And then they called him up and O.J put on a great performance so obviously he couldn’t say no.

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Robert Kardashian

Let’s not forget that it is Father’s Day in our American Crime Story world. And like any other Kardashian episode (let’s be real this is basically a Kardashian spin off at this point) the gang, including Robert Jr head to the most popular joint in Beverly Hills. Dressed up in their Sunday best, Kourtney, Kim, Khloe and Rob start turning up because they just cut the line at La Scala’s and their new dad is Bruce Jenner. While dad Robert is spewing ironic Gandi-esque lines to his children, baby Khloe wonders what she’s even doing there, and if her dad might be O.J (via Robert/Bruce + Caitlin). Also, monotone Kourtney points out that O.J is her godfather. Let’s all remember that people, because that little tid bit of information is sure to be monumental later on. If that last bit wasn’t sarcastic enough for you, La Scala’s is also serving up a big plate of irony in the words of the late Robert Kardashian. Here are some of the great pieces of advice he imparts onto his children. “We are Kardashians and being a loyal friend is more important than being famous” (Um Paris Hilton would have to disagree) “Fame is fleeting, it’s hollow, it means nothing without a virtuous heart” (Robert Jr could probably agree with his father on that)

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But wait, things get better in a few minutes. Also, if you’re wondering why we aren’t talking about the actual O.J case, it’s because it’s hidden under 500 layers of Kardashian dialogue. Don’t think we forgot about Kris Jenner. Girl can’t have her kids all over the episode without showing her face. And I have to say, Selma Blair, you’ve been MIA for 10 years but you came back with the best role ever. I’m still serving sarcasm here. Robert shows up in a hot pink salmon golf shirt, and his ex-wife greets him at the door. I’m sorry, does everyone in Beverly Hills/Calabasas wear a power suit with dangling pearls around the house? What am  I saying, it’s Kris Jenner slash Selma Blair, duh. Kris Jenner delivers the most ironic line of the night, telling Robert that O.J probably killed Nicole, Robert reminding Kris he’s the uncle/Godfather of monotone Kourtney, and Kris replies “He’s a fake uncle, everything about him is pretend” Girl, bye.

Marcia Clark

sarahpaulson

Sarah Paulson has to be my favourite character right now. Her performance is the best, which isn’t saying much because everyone else sucks. She’s obviously the only one with a brain at the DA’s office, seems like everyone else is so sure they’re going to win the case, and Marcia’s over there in her office smoking on a cig reminding everyone she’s a woman and she has insight like nobody else! Duh! But seriously, she puts in work and is totally shell shocked when she realizes O.J’s lawyers are going to make the case all about race. Slowly her evidence, like Nicole’s 911 call gets released to the media, making it inadmissible in court. Are you all still following? Is this intriguing at all? Are you currently googling – kris jenner power suit where to find?. If you are, I don’t blame you. Sarah Paulson delivers the final line of the episode, when she reads the morning paper that headlines Johnny Cochran joining O.J’s legal team. “Motherfucker” she blurts out right before putting out her cigarette.

Bob Shapiro

The biggest slime ball of all. He basically initiates the entire ‘race case’ theme by writing an article in The New Yorker.

O.J Simpson

Cuba Gooding Jr appeared towards the end of the episode, and delivered a pretty crazy performance of admitting his innocence to Johnny.

What did you think of the episode? Join the discussion or Tweet us your comments!

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The Katie Couric Kim K Battle!

Katie Couric made a remark about Kim Kardashian and why people are obsessed with the reality TV family…because really they’re famous for nothing…the media blew up calling the once conservative talk show host a sassy and spicy Katie!

Just a few moments ago Kim Kardashian Instagrammed a picture of a gift she received from Katie. Kim captioned the picture with “IHateFakeMediaFriends and #MayIHumblySuggestYouNotSendGiftsThenTalkShit…Ouch!

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Kardashians In MIKONOS!

The three part Kardashian vacation in Greece is over but it doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the beautiful pictures one more time. The Kardashian vacations are always a staple feature in their seasons, something always good comes out of the getaways. Although my man Robert wasn’t present, we still got the chance to enjoy Brody and Brandon as they joined the Kardashian clan in Mikonos.

Enjoy the slideshow!

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Kardashian’s on SNL

It’s Monday morning which means everyone’s talking about this past weekend’s events. Which means, yet another chance to talk about the Kardashian divorce. If you missed SNL on Saturday night, here’s the skit they did about the “Fairytale divorce” special. So funny.

DWTS:Robert AKA Chubs.

Last night was another episode of DWTS. Not going to say too much about what happened tonight-mainly because I was at work and it was hard to catch all the performances.

Obviously, I made it a point to watch my future husband-Rob Karadashian. He’s doing really well…except that he looks really chub now!! During rehearsals his moobs were like bouncing…and he looks bigger! Which is totally fine with me…because I would marry him regardless…and his performance was really fun! Vote for him.

Moving on, Kristin Cav did awesome as usual…but If I had to critique I’d say she definitely looked better than she performed. Something was missing. On the other hand, the random Chynna lady (don’t know who she is) did the best…the dance was hot…the music was perfect…and it was an amazing performance. Even though I have no idea who she is.

Chaz Bono was horrible. I really had high expectations for him, considering last week wasn’t so bad. But his knee injury definitely effected his performance this week. He’s my pick for the elimination tonight.

Other thoughts…Brooke cannot host for the life of her. Whenever she asks them a question…it doesn’t even look like she’s listening to their response…and when they cue her back in she doesn’t even acknowledge their answer she just moves on to the next topic. Next season…new hosts.

 

That is all.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians! More From Bora Bora

Sunday’s episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians was again from beautiful Bora Bora. This week E! brings us 2 full-hour episodes of our favourite family reality show. Tonight is the season finale.

For once, the episode focused on my favourite Kardashian- Robert. Kim started an argument with him when she started talking smack about him to Kris. Robert over heard and he got offended…it seems like the family is dissapointed with Robert because he doesn’t have much going for himself. He graduated from school, but since then he hasn’t had a job. He’s kind of just living off his family. It seems like he really is trying hard to find his ‘thing’ in life, and although he doesn’t know it yet…he needs to make the big bucks for our wedding.


After the Rob situation…the drama turned to Kris because he jumped to Kim’s help. He’s still new to the family, so it’s kind of awkward that he started threatening Rob because of the way Rob was talking to Kim. Rob and Kim have been siblings much longer than Kris has known Kim, it’s really not his place to get involved in their family drama. Kris is just weird.

After that was settled, Scott was thrown under the bus when Mom Kris met his business partners. Turns out Scott is investing in a Vodka company…is that really the smartest choice for a recovering alcoholic? Probably not. At dinner, Kris confronts Scott, Scott gets offended- walks away…and then gets bitched at some more by his girlfriend and baby mama-Kourteney. Poor guy…he can never please The Family.

Then…the event of the season Bruce and Kris renew their vows. Wait, maybe that wasn’t the event of the season…(that’s probably the proposal)

So Mom Kris gets a huge diamond ring from Bruce (she probably picked it out)…and then Man Kris decides to say that he’s so honoured to experience a Jenner family event…and that he only wishes he could relive this experience with Kim…in the future. BARF! What guy says that?? Could he be any more fake?? I’m sorry, I thought I had issues with Scott, Scott is normal compared to Kris. At least Scott admits he’s a douche, and somewhat annoying. Kris just exudes this type of fakeness, that is so obvious, especially in this episode. So Kris and Kim go on a special boat ride…something that they always ‘wanted to do’. Always? Dude you’ve been together for what…2 months during the taping of this vacation…it’s just weird.

To top it all off, he ends the episode off by taking Bruce for a game of golf. Obviously…we know what he’s going to ask. I mean after only a few months of knowing someone why wouldn’t you get married to them??

The ending of the episode leads us into tonight’s finale…which will probably be a good one. What can I say…it’s a guilty pleasure.