Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Basketball Edition!

We are six episodes deep into season nine of the #RealHousewivesOfBeverlyHills, and all anyone can talk about is this damn dog Lucy Lucy Apple Juice. The drama surrounding the pup carries right into March, so the only way we can properly explain it all is a great big basketball analogy.

lisavanderpump,lisa vanderpump

Let’s start right at the top, every good team or reality show for that matter starts with a point guard. The one that’s going to make the power plays and control what’s about to go down.

You may have already guessed it, but in our world of the real housewives – that is Lisa Vanderpump. Contrary to LVP fans, she is behind every major play in Beverly hills history. BELOW ARE THE RECEIPTS:

Receipt #1: Encouraging Camille Grammer to bring up Taylor’s abuse by her husband.

Receipt #2: LVP convincing Brandi Glanville to bring tabloids that had a story of Mauricio cheating on Kyle. All so the conversation could be brought up on their trip to Mexico! What kind of FRIEND does that??

Receipt #3: And third, Lisa Vanderpump dropping the bomb and implying to Lisa Rinna that Yolanda Hadid might have munchausen (a term for people who are basically faking their illness). Of course Rinna wasn’t innocent in this either, but LVP was the one to make the major power play.

lisarinna,lisa rinna, lisa vanderpump

I know you are all quick to defend Lisa, just like Kyle and Dorit were at the start of the season nine. But one too many shady plays by Lisa, and now the entire team is looking at their point guard and calling her ish.

kylerichards,kyle richards, mauricio umansky

Let’s turn our attention to the shooting guard – Kyle Richards. Kyle has been on Lisa’s side for majority of this franchise, and we love their friendship. Trust me, we are still rooting for some sort of reunion between these two. But throughout the seasons, Kyle has tried to score points for the team all while defending Lisa’s power plays. One too many bad passes, and the backfiring of this Lucy apple juice story, and Kyle can no longer defend her point guard. Kyle is one of the OG housewives, and I can’t picture this franchise going on without the Lisa-Kyle friendship. Maybe a trade talk is in the works for Kyle…or maybe Bravo will give her her own show?

gif-ball-dorit

Let’s move over to the other position close to Lisa. And that’s the small forward – Dorit Kemsley. Really Dorit is perfect for this position, not only is she physically close to Lisa, she’s also one of Lisa’s closest friends because of their husbands friendship. But that didn’t stop Lisa from using Dorit as part of her Vanderpump Dogs play. Next season, I want to see Dorit less dependent on LVP. Housewives analysts are predicting a big clash in chemistry between Dorit and her point guard. One thing going for Dorit is she’s in a great position to pick off any rebound attention from the power forward….Erika Jayne.

erikajayne, erika jayne, erika gerardi

Erika Jayne is the perfect power forward. In all of this doggy mess, she has positioned herself with her back towards the basket…watching clearly the moves her point guard Lisa intends to make. Erika is never directly involved in any drama around the basket…but she has the position to see it all, and she’s always there to pick off any rebounds or casualties that Lisa leaves in her way.

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In the center of all the dog drama is Teddi Mellencamp. Newly acquired to the Beverly Hills franchise in season eight, she got along great with her point guard Lisa…mostly over their common love for horse riding. But at the beginning of season nine, LVP tries to make a BIG powerplay against Dorit with Teddi at the middle of it.. Lisa takes the 3-point shot with the initial mention of Dorit dumping the dog off at the shelter and tells Teddi to swoop in and pick off the game winning rebound for her by asking about the dog on camera. Teddi is about to jump for it but realizes Lisa’s shot was a complete SET UP! At the expense of exposing herself, Teddi comes forward with LVP’s shady game plan and shocks the Beverly Hills team to the core. Everyone on the court is left looking at LVP who just ran back into the locker room to look over her game notes with Ken.

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Honourable mentions go to Lisa Rinna playing as the coach, because Rinna pretty much saw this LVP play coming. She knew what kind of player Lisa Vaderpump from experience, and spends most of the episodes telling everyone else what to look out for.

Also, Denise Richards as the referee who just wants to get along with everyone and have a good time at Camille’s birthday party.

Overall, the Beverly Hills team is a strong one, they’re just going through a rough time right now while they deal with some on/off court drama.

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Real Housewives of Miami

So I promised myself I wouldn’t get hooked onto Season 2 of The Real Housewives of Miami just because the first season sucked. The only normal housewife I did like was Alexia Echevarria who isn’t a full on housewife this season. She’s still involved in the show because she’s friends with most of the housewives, but since her youngest son was in a fatal car accident- she decided not to join as a cast member. Also, Larsa Pippen and Cristy Rice are no longer on the show. Which doesn’t really matter because this season is full of new ladies…and new drama.

Joanna Krupa who is a model and was on Dancing with the Stars is the new ‘young’ housewife, although she’s not really a housewife. She’s not married, she doesn’t cook or clean but- she is engaged to Romain Zago who owns one of Miami’s hottest nightclubs ‘Mynt’.

Then we have the ultimate housewife- Ana Quincoces. She’s a lawyer by day…and a housewife by night. She’s in the middle of a divorce, her ex husband is also a lawyer and the father of her two girls. She’s one of the older housewives, but her dynamic with her ex husband is one of the funniest elements of the new season.

Karent Sierra is known as the ‘dentist to the stars’. Not sure who calls her that, she probably refers to herself as that because she is a full out wannabe! Karent lives in her beautiful Miami mansion with her parents, and long distance relationship boyfriend Rodolpho…who by the way is a Spanish soap opera star. Rumours surrounding her and Rodolpho say that her relationship isn’t ‘real’…and that he cheats on her. The last part is probably true. Sorry!

Last but definitely not least fakest housewife is Barbie Doll Lisa Hochstein. She’s married to boob surgeon Lenny Hochstein who is known as the ‘boob god’. Lisa refers to herself as her husband’s calling card…since she is his creation. Wow.

Plus we have original cast members Lea Black, Adriana De Moura, and one of my faves only because she is the complete opposite of a housewife, I don’t even know why she was casted for this show- Marysol Patton. Marysol is in the process of divorcing her very charming and handsome ex Phillipe. Apparently, because of her busy schedule- they both decided the marriage would have never worked. Because she is the complete opposite of a housewife!!! The show is incorrectly categorizing her as something she’s not!

What’s interesting about this season is that they’ve picked women who are all in different stages of their lives. Joanna is just beginning her life as a housewife- she’s a full time model but dreams of becoming Romain’s wifey. Then there’s Ana whose a full time housewife…well aside from being a lawyer she’s also trying to date again. Also, she knows how to cook mushroom risotto. Then there’s Lea whose entering early stages of menopause. So the show really touches on all demographics…even if you’re not a housewife and never will be a housewife like Marysol…the show is still fun to watch!

The season kicks off with a ton of drama…from cheating boyfriends to fainting mothers- this season will definitely bring us some housewife entertainment while we wait for RHOBH to start up.

xo

Follow Natasha on Twitter @TheTashaIC

 

 

The RHONJ Reunion Part II

There’s honestly more drama in a Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion than the actual episodes! Part II of the reunion aired last Sunday and things get crazy when Teresa insults Kathy and Rosie’s late father. The reunion resumes where things ended off last time which was when Rosie loses her cool backstage as she listens to Teresa talk about their father being an absent dad. Kathy and Teresa go at it for a few minutes, Kathy apologizes to Teresa for calling her mother a liar, but Teresa doesn’t accept her apology. They start fighting even more until Andy steps in and introduces Rosie.

Rosie comes out and explains how she came out of the closet to her family. Teresa claimed that she was the only ‘supportive’ family member Rosie had, and that Kathy never accepted Rosie as a gay woman. Obviously, it wasn’t true, you can already tell Kathy would never treat a family member like that, much less her own sister. Rosie admitted Kathy was always there for her, even though it was a difficult time in her life, Kathy never once made her feel like she wasn’t included in the family. Teresa said she would always ask Kat why Rosie wouldn’t hang out with them, Rosie denied any of that, calling Teresa a liar and full of s***. It’s obvious that anytime there’s drama, Teresa has to put herself in the middle of it, and make herself ‘Mother Teresa’. It’s so ridiculous, and I don’t understand how this woman isn’t in an insane asylum, she literally is so blind and stupid, I think she legitimately believes the stories she creates.

Anyways, Rosie doesn’t stay on stage for long because there is a whole lot more drama going on between the housewives. The name calling continues as Teresa calls Kathy’s face ‘fake’, Jacqueline is confused because that comment wasn’t about her, and Caroline mistakes the set for The Twilight Zone.

It seems like anytime a housewife starts off a story with ‘honestly…?’ it’s most likely not the honest truth, so don’t believe anything they say. I’ve always liked Melissa and Joe Gorga, they’re hilarious, and it seems like Melissa genuinely wants her brother to work things out with Teresa. Recently, Melissa and Joe have put their mega mansion up for sale…and it’s most likely because they ran out of money. When Andy asks Melissa why they put their house on the market, she responds, ‘honestly…?’ and says how their family is moving because she doesn’t want her daughter going to the same school as Teresa’s girls, she feels like once they’re older they’ll make fun of her daughter, and she doesn’t want that for her family. I don’t know how much I believe it, there are articles where there is speculation the move was instigated because Joe couldn’t pay for the mortgage anymore. Then again, Melissa says they are not in debt on the reunion, and admits to being able to buy their mega mansion 10x over. Honestly……?

Melissa also feels the heat from Teresa when Teresa calls Melissa a bad singer and says she lip sings all of her songs. Melissa fights back by singing a few lines from a song, she doesn’t have the greatest voice, but it’s obviously better than Teresa’s. Then Teresa starts singing Melissa’s hit ‘On Display’…and she repeats the same lines over and over again, mostly because the song is repetitive. I admit, Melissa isn’t the greatest singer, and probably wouldn’t have the attention if she wasn’t on a reality show, but as her sister-in-law why would you bash her dream? Teresa is clearly jealous of them all…and actually tells Andy that the song ‘On Display’ was about her life as a trophy wife….honestly…….? That was probably the craziest thing Teresa said in the 45 minutes, she is so delusional that she legitimately believes Melissa wrote a song about Teresa’s life? As if Joe would ever put Teresa on a pedestal.

Caroline and Jacqueline stayed quiet most of the time, I think Caroline is fed up with everything and there is no hope in saving Teresa. Even if you try to talk to her, she’ll just fire back with insults that don’t make sense…because she is stupid. Jacqueline admits to not really sleeping on the couch in Napa. She just wanted to escape the bull**** that was going on. Clearly alcohol couldn’t do the trick.

Then to top it all off, Andy brings out Joe Giudice who chugs an entire red bull, and surprisingly keeps himself from burping the entire time. Joe looks like a mafioso straight out of a bad 80s gangster flick. He looks tired, confused, and juiced up as he sits amongst the housewives and prepares himself to answer Andy’s hard hitting questions. Andy asks him straight up if he’s ever cheated on his wife, he obviously denies it, but with Joe’s track record it’s hard to believe he’s been faithful. One point he did make, if he was cheating on his wife with that phone call in Napa, why wouldn’t he take off his mic and throw it away? I don’t think he’s that stupid that he would leave it on and have a secret conversation- which leads me to believe that entire scene might have been set up by producers to make it look like he was blatantly cheating on Teresa. After all, that one phone call did attract a lot of attention to the show, and it was probably the most talked about scene from this season of RHONJ.

Teresa claims that Jacqueline had told her Chris cheats on her, which I would never believe. Chris is the sweetest man ever, I think Jacqueline was referring to her ex-husband, Ashley’s father, who looks more slimy and probably did cheat on Jac. Jacqueline fires back with some more ‘honesty’ admitting that Teresa had in the past confided to her that she caught Joe having sex with the babysitter in the office. Joe laughs it off by calling Jacqueline crazy, you can tell Caroline is annoyed with Jacqueline for falling into their trap and starting another mini war. Joe denies ever taking money from his wife, apparently he is the bread winner and doesn’t need his wife’s pay cheques. Hard to believe since both of them will do anything to land a cover on a tabloid magazine and make quick cash.

Tune in next week as the men of RHONJ come out on stage and have it out with each other. Should be a good time.

 

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RHONJ: Caroline’s Fitty!!

This week on The Real Housewives of New Jersey the crew continue their vacation in Napa Valley. Caroline turns 50, they finally leave the RV park and drive to the Lancaster Estate which is this huge mansion on a beautiful vineyard. Chris and the BLK crew get closer to sealing the deal with the wine company, hopefully the two Joe’s can stay in check and not ruin the last few days of the trip

If you saw the preview’s for this week’s episode, you know that something crazy goes down between Teresa and her husband Joe. In the preview Joe takes a phone call while at dinner for Caroline’s birthday, when he sees Teresa walking over to him he whispers into the phone ‘Here’s my b**** wife coming over’. So after everyone visits the wine company, Albie,Chris and Lauren blindfold Caroline to take her somewhere special. They drive around the corner to where a table is set up for everybody, and it’s over looking the vineyard- it was the most beautiful place, it seemed like a really unique backdrop to celebrate a birthday- I mean who can say they dined overlooking a vineyard in California?

Halfway through dinner, Joe Giudice gets a phone call from ‘work’ so he gets up to answer it. He walks away from the table, and you can totally hear his conversation which seems to be with a girl. His voice is really low and he sounds really dirty talking to whoever is on the other line. Just then, Teresa comes over and that’s when he makes the comment about her- calling her a b**** and a c*** obviously Teresa doesn’t hear him saying those things! Doesn’t he know he has a mic on him? But he was talking really low, I think he thought he might be able to get away with his conversation. Nobody at the table really notices that they’ve both left, they’re busy taking pictures with Caroline. Teresa literally waits in front of Joe until he’s done with his phone call- he pretends to continue talking about some work stuff in Italian. She hangs over him like she knew who he was talking to, or she had a feeling he was being shady. I’m sure it’s not the first time she’s caught him doing something like this.

Anyways, in the end they walk off into the vineyard- Joe just wants to get back to the food, but all of a sudden Teresa wants to get it on in the vineyards! Out of nowhere she starts jumping on him, and he’s trying to pull her off, it’s just a really weird and awkward moment, obviously she had a feeling he wasn’t talking to his co-worker, and she’s just trying to make their marriage look legit on camera. Teresa might be a dumbass, but when it comes to putting on a happy face- she is the master of it all. Trying to make it look like her and Joe actually get it on, and that they’re love life is so hot and heavy that they got it on in the vineyard- it’s all BS. The best part was when Richie spots them getting it on from where he was sitting at the dinner table.

When Teresa and Joe return to the table some comments are made but nobody really talks about what they’ve just witnessed- they don’t want to give any attention to Teresa, which is exactly what she wanted. It’s just really sad, and I actually feel sorry for Teresa who is pulling at every string to save her marriage and keep her family together. Melissa has a conversation with her about the tabloid stories and explains that anything she talks about they will turn into negative comments, and it’s not worth the damage she causes to her family and friends. But Teresa doesn’t care what the tabloids write, because at the end of the day she needs to get paid.

While Kathy is doing Caroline’s hair, the ladies have a conversation with Jacqueline about Teresa. Kathy admits she kind of feels left out because Teresa is now focusing repairing her relationship with Melisa and Joe. Kathy expects this from Teresa, but it still hurts realizing Teresa just calls Kathy family whenever it suits her. Then, everyone meets for a fancy last night dinner. After Chris makes a beautiful toast, Teresa obviously has to step in and make a toast of her own. She thanks Chris and Jacqueline for inviting them to Napa, and thanks them for repairing the relationship with her and her brother, and then wishes Caroline a happy birthday. Meanwhile, Kathy is literally sitting beside her, and Teresa totally forgets to mention Richie and Kathy! Caroline is stunned and infuriated because they were just talking about that a few minutes before. People start whispering around the table, even Greg is angry with Teresa for not thanking Kathy. Kathy just puts on a happy face and goes along with it, seriously she is my favourite housewife, she is everything I want to be as a housewife, Richie on the other hand is angry at Teresa and hurts for his wife because he knows she will care for Teresa no matter what.

Tune in next week because Caroline and Joe have an argument out of nowhere, Jacqueline is drunk on the couch…and Caroline’s son Chris gets involved…it’s getting good!

RHONJ: Beginning of the End

This season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey has been non stop drama drama drama, it seems the housewives can’t go 42 minutes without yelling or cussing at each other. Fortunately, for us, that makes great TV, and trust me I have no problem with it.

So I think I missed last week’s episode where Teresa and Jacqueline have an argument, I guess Jacqueline accuses Teresa of lying to her, and Teresa accuses Jacqueline of being a bad friend. Anyways, it all makes sense now because during last season’s reunion, Jacqueline refused to attend and said something had happened between her and Teresa while they were filming this season. So now we know what it is, but I have to admit I was expecting a little bit more drama from Jacqueline, instead she gets emotional and tries talking it out with Teresa! Like, really Jacqueline, you’re dealing with a crazy woman, there is no talking to her, just get over it and move on with your amazing family.

Melissa seems to get caught in the middle of everything because her husband Joe is Teresa’s brother, and now all of a sudden Teresa wants to mend the relationship with her brother through therapy. In this episode, she actually reaches out to cousin Kathy who she’s been hating on forever, and says they should reconcile. Kathy is all for it, she’d rather have her family than be fighting over nonsense, but nevertheless Kathy is skeptical about Teresa’s intentions, and the reason for her sudden ‘change of heart’.

Caroline is no longer friends with Teresa, after the tabloid magazines came out with Teresa’s cover article discussing her relationships with Caroline and the rest, it showed how far Teresa will go just to sell a good story. She claims the magazine just took what she said and ran with it, which I’m sure they did, but she must’ve said something along the lines that Caroline wasn’t a good friend, and that Melissa was jealous of her life. Anyways, Caroline has had enough, understandable because who could live with that woman anyways- oh right her loving husband Joe. He’s actually the funniest man ever, I don’t know if he intentionally wants to sound like an a** but when Teresa is pouring her heart out to him about the drama in her life, he gives his two cents and tells her to stop talking because he’s heard enough of her problems.

Joe Gorga holds another release party for wife Melissa’s song ‘On Display’, the evening looks like it’s a good time, Rosie’s completely hammered, Kathy and Rich show up hand in hand as always, and Jacqueline can’t keep her eyes off Teresa. The entire time Jacqueline is afraid to confront Teresa, in the end she does, and Teresa isn’t having any of it. She refuses to admit she’d done anything wrong and just blames Jacqueline for being a bad friend. Melissa shows up to save the day, but that goes sour when Teresa basically tells Jacqueline to f*** off, and that’s the end of that.

Fortunately for Jacqueline, it looked like she had a better time without Teresa anyways, taking a few shots at the bar with some random housewife.

Until next week, seems like things are getting even wilder!

RHONJ: Pool Party!

I have to say, this season of Real Housewives of New Jersey has been more promising than season 5 of Mad Men! The drama is always ready to pop off in Jersey, and what’s the point of watching men in nice suits when you can watch Kathy Wakile host amazing parties!

Seriously, just watching her put together her get togethers, I feel like I’m learning how to become a better housewife, it’s like watching a show on the Food Channel or HGTV! She’s just amazing, her house always looks cute and done up, and that pool party! I don’t know how anyone passes up the chance where there is that much food and booze poolside.

Anyways, the episode starts off with Teresa and Melissa discussing the previous nights events to their loving husbands. Teresa obviously exaggerates everything and makes Melissa seem like godzilla- Joe her husband isn’t having any of it, he just sits there and throws insult after insult to each housewife. He kept calling Melissa ‘Horsey’ I guess that’s her nickname, since she resembles a horse- according to Joe. Also, he was doing some weird workout thing while he was talking to Teresa- he’s just an idiot.

Joe- Melissa’s husband takes it all in, and he already knows how much of a liar his sister his, he doesn’t really take what she said to heart- he’s already been in arguments with her, for Joe and Melissa they just want their families to be happy, and for their children to spend time with their cousins.

Caroline said it best, Teresa will always have this dislike for Melissa simply because she exists. She’s the younger and prettier version of herself and she’s always threatened by that.

Albie, Chris and Lauren pay a visit to the Jaguar dealership, it looks as if Chris is interested in buying a new car. When Caroline and her husband Al show up- Caroline is in panic mode because she doesn’t know how her son Chris is going to pay for the car. A few minutes later, they surprise her by telling her the car is actually for her and not Chris! It was the cutest surprise present ever!! Al is the sweetest man, they make me so happy.

Kathy (the greatest mother of all time, next to Caroline) decides to throw a pool party, she invites everyone, except Jacqueline can’t go, and Caroline is not up for it, which leaves the Wakile’s with the Gorga’s and Giudice’s. With the backyard decked out, Kathy’s kids invite their school friends, but apparently Kathy’s husband Rich tells everyone not to come because drama was definitely going to be in attendance. Not sure if he was joking or not, the party seemed a little empty until Rosie came out and made the party fantastic with her bartending skills.

Teresa arrives, and the music shifts to something really dramatic and suspenseful. Her brother Joe is confused about what he’s supposed to say to her. They’re not really agreeing on anything, Rich recommended therapy, but Joe was doubtful of that. Anyways, while the kids were swimming, Joe and Teresa have a sit down that almost lasted half the episode. So boring, same old talk with Joe trying to explain his side of the story, and Teresa not having any of it. She doesn’t remember the things she says, she doesn’t want to accept that she could be wrong or that her husband could actually be the root of some of their problems. Frustrated, Joe gets up calls his sister a ‘nut job’ and walks away, I actually don’t know how he stands to talk to her. He gives up, she freaks out and demands her babies because she’s ready to leave the party.

Next week, it seems things are going downhill for Teresa and her crew Caroline and Jacqueline. I still want to know what happened between J and T that had J in tears, and made her not want to come to the reunion.

Stay tuned yall!

xo

 

RHONJ: Battle of the Sister-in-Laws

This season of Real Housewives of New Jersey is so crazy it’s probably going to go down in history as the best Housewives Season ever! There’s only been 3 episodes so far, and it’s crazy!

It’s summer in Jersey which means once again the crew decide to visit the Shore for a night. Somehow Joe Giudice get’s a fancy boat and decides to takes all the adults for a cruise…while Rosie and Kathy’s mom are stuck taking care of the children.

When they return, Jacqueline gets everyone together to attend some Summer Solstice party…obviously everyone’s down to go but nobody knows the drama that’s about to unfold. Seriously, we all know Teresa is crazy- she refuses to believe her husband did anything wrong and instead of admitting he was in jail for a week…continues to say he was ‘away’. So she’s trying to be a good mother-fine, but you can tell how jealous she is of her brother Joe and Melissa’s marriage. Everytime Joe tries to do or say something nice to Teresa she gets defensive and starts throwing punches at them (not literally).

When we first met Melissa at the beginning of last season, I didn’t like her. She seemed like those annoying housewives that don’t really do anything, but really I friggin’ love her. She’s so normal and so real, the fact that Teresa continuously starts arguments with her, it just proves how insanely jealous Teresa is. Teresa brings Melissa over at the party to ask her something, when Melissa is answering her question she mentions how Joe was in jail for a week, hearing this Teresa freaks out and starts leaving the party!

Melissa could care less, she’s been amazing so far with Teresa everytime she’s insulted by her sister-in-law she just turned her cheek, because really all she wants is a happy family. So the random woman that gets involved in their argument tells Jacqueline to bring Melissa out so her and Teresa can talk it out.

Really, nothing gets resolved because Teresa doesn’t apologize for calling Melissa a goldigger. Melissa basically destroys Teresa in the argument, everything she said was just so real and so true- why would Teresa even tell her brother that his wife only wants him for money? Does she want things to turn out bad for the couple? For the kids to see their parents go through a divorce?

Melissa was on key, and you could tell Teresa does all these hurtful things because she’s so miserable in her life, and she’s extremely jealous.

Keep watching because I can’t wait to see why Jacqueline decides to turn her back on Teresa.

RHONJ: Season 4

The new season of Real Housewives of New Jersey premiered a few weeks ago- and the DRAMA has already started! It’s only the first two episodes of what I hope to be a long season, and there’s literally drama everywhere. If you don’t remember, on the Season 3 Reunion- Jacqueline was missing, Caroline said she was so upset with Teresa she refused to be a part of the reunion. Somewhere between the Season 3 finale and the taping of the new season- something happened with everyone and Theresa that made everyone despise her.

Caroline could barely look at her, Melissa was just over the entire situation, and Kathy just continued disliking her like she always does. They didn’t really say what Teresa did, I guess it was something that she sad, or a few things that she said. We do know that in her cookbook she writes some nasty things about Caroline’s kids, and insults her brother and Melissa. She claims they were just jokes- and they were harmless but what’s the point of putting them into your cookbook? Obviously, she knows her book will sell more if she talks about the housewives- so she wrote those things to get attention…she just uses anyway to make money. Which I guess is understandable when your husband is a deadbeat dad and doesn’t have a job…and is possibly going to jail.

Anyways, the season starts out with a glimpse into the reunion and then it takes up back 4 months to the summer in New Jersey and everyone’s getting ready to go to the Jersey Shore. Apparently, the Shore isn’t just for drunken tanned meat heads…it’s also for families and their grandparents. Joe and Melissa have a cute place of their own down at the Shore but it isn’t quite ready because Joe was doing some construction…on their bedroom (Soundproofing?) not sure if he was joking…considering it’s Joe he was probably dead serious.

Kathy and Rich have the cutest place on earth, a small cottage that had to house literally everyone since Joe’s place wasn’t ready just yet. And finally, Joe and Teresa’s place that looked terrible- and it wasn’t even under construction. Joe brings this huge tarp thing, and when one of the girls goes to unwrap it there’s like 10 mice living inside of it and they’ve chewed their way through the tarp! It was disgusting- I was traumatized.

Jacqueline and Chris are still dealing with a troubled 20-yr old who doesn’t know where she’s going in life-so they decide to ship her off to Vegas to live with some relatives. Albie drives Ashley to the airport, when he’s on his way home she calls him to tell him she’s missed her flight and can’t leave until the next morning. Lost cause.

Melissa makes a song for Joe, and Teresa keeps doing her thang with the book tour to make some money for the kids and her husband.

 

Real Housewives of Vancouver!

So I don’t know if the episode I watched last night was the series premiere, regardless the housewives of Vancouver are really boring. Of course, Canada had to come up with their own version of The Housewives saga, and I guess Vancouver was the chosen city. It is a beautiful city, and I’m not even hating on the look of the show. These women are definitely well off, and the homes they live in are stunning.

But, they literally are bat s*** crazy. Each and every one of them. It’s not like  the American versions like RHONJ where Caroline is so normal she could be my mom, or Lisa and Kyle from RHOBH who are mentally stable. Each one of these housewives from Vancouver have serious mental and emotional issues, first of all I don’t even know how they all know each other.

The one mom- Mary, who looked completely normal in the beginning, invites her ‘best-friend’ Ronnie to this girls weekend in Whistler, except Ronnie completely embarrasses Mary in front of the other girls, she was SO rude to her, and Mary just sat there taking it all in. What’s wrong with you!

The other one, I don’t even know her name but we can call her ‘Golddigger’ since she clearly states her income is from her past 2 divorces. That actually makes me sick, this is why women are underestimated. We’ve worked hard to make a place for us within the work field, earning salaries that compete with our male counterparts. But women like her give us a bad rap. (That was my feminist rant for the day).

Anyways, there’s one housewife that’s half Asian I think, she seemed a little normal. She had a family, and a cute house and a dangerous obsession with fast cars. Meh.

Realistically, I probably won’t watch this show again. Nothing made me want to tune in for next week’s episode, aside from the fact that somebody needs to knock out Ronnie. Asap.

RHOBH: The Final Reunion

Last night was the final reunion out of the 3 part special for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The drama was definitely present each and every time…especially with host Andy Cohen instigating most of the conflicts. Each housewife had their own turn to sort of reflect on what’s happened in the season…and by far Taylor’s experience was the craziest one.

As most people know, her husband Russell committed suicide a few weeks before the second season premiered. On the season opener, Bravo had posted a note saying that the entire season was filmed before Russell’s suicide. Throughout the season, we see Russell with Taylor, but it’s really weird because we all know he’s really dead.

When Taylor talks about her ex-husband, she’s definitely in a lot of pain, but she has gotten better. She’s definitely a stronger women…and she regrets a lot of things that happened with her and Russell. It’s such a unique story…I don’t want to say it but Bravo did get really lucky that they had all of this on tape. It definitely contributed to the ratings of the show this past season.

Anyways, she just talks about how crazy Russell really was, how abusive he was. She explains one story about being at a friends place with him, he leaves early because he doesn’t care about staying. Little do they know, he’s legit hiding in the bushes outside of the house…he never left..and when Taylor finally leaves…the couple walk her to her car- Russell jumps out and legit starts beating on everyone! How crazy is that!

Out of the 3-part reunion…I think 1 and 3 were the one’s with the most drama. Towards the end of the 3rd we finally get to see Kim, whose definitely looking much healthier. She’s out of rehab or she was in rehab…not sure but Andy has a private conversation with her…and then Kyle shows up.

Definitely something to see!

xo