Why I Quit The Walking Dead

I can pinpoint the exact moment when I questioned my loyalty to The Walking Dead. November 30th 2014 was the mid-season finale, Beth dies, Daryl carries her lifeless body in his arms, Maggie arrives in slow motion to see her dead sister, sad story, soul crushed forever. My loyalty didn’t falter because someone died, that happens all the time on this show. It was the way the writers built up to Beth’s storyline, spending half the season ‘looking’ for her, and then conveniently killing her off in the mid-season finale.

walkingdead-biggestfan-memeAnd I totally understand, nobody is immune to dying, obviously this is the zombie apocalypse, people are dropping like flies, but why do some deaths feel more justified than others? Hershel, Lori, Tyrese, Noah were all deaths that made sense, or felt right when they happened, sorry Noah we just didn’t care about you. But with Beth dying, it felt like the writers needed a big bang for the mid-season finale.

Fast forward a few months later, much to the dismay of my watercooler chatters, I kept watching TWD but always with a wary eye. I knew a sh***y cliff-hanger finale was just around the corner and I wasn’t going to be fooled again.

I wasn’t fooled when Glenn got caught in the swivel door with Noah and the writers tried to get us to believe Glenn was going to die in a swivel door! Or, that they even assumed killing off Noah would create a stir in all of our hearts. Um, let’s just take in Beth died because of Noah, so frankly, I salute those zombies that chewed Noah’s face off. Boy, bye.

And then it happened again, the notorious mid-season finale cliff-hanger, with Glenn and Nick on the dumpster. Don’t even get me started on this scene, we’ve ranted enough about it in a previous post. But did they actually think we thought Glenn would die? Yes, because they’re banking on their Walking Dead fans to fall for cheapy cliff hangers. Nick blows his brains out, Glenn falls into the swarm of zombies and cut to black because it’s the mid-season final and everybody is freaking out because Glenn might be dead. Fast forward a few months and a f few overtly ambiguous Walking Dead promos later, and Glenn magically escapes the dumpster after hiding from a hundred zombies. Okay, now he decides to go back home.

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But he’s not out of the danger zone just yet, the writers want to keep him in the danger zone a little longer because we’re halfway through the back end of the season and nothing crazy has happened so almost killing Glenn again is what they’re going to do, again. But he fights his way out again! He prevails, all while his baby momma watches. Maggie is basically us, the audience, watching and being like ‘is this going to end on another cliff hanger though?’

Now that leaves us with the Negan season finale, and just when you think the writers are going to give the fans everything, it cuts to black and that’s it. We have to wait six months to see who Negan’s going to kill? And then on top of that shi***y ending, claim that the ending was ‘the end of one story and next season will be the beginning of another story’. That wasn’t an ending that was like a ‘to be continued’ just call it like it is Scott M. Gimple.

But nevertheless, the cast and crew of The Walking Dead insist this season will be the season of all seasons, it will be the ‘craziest season yet’, ‘you haven’t seen crazy until you see Negan crazy’. No, I’ve definitely seen crazy, I’ve seen Cersei so crazy she blows up half the friggin’ cast of Game of Thrones while they’re in church. I’ve seen crazy, just not on your show.

And that’s why I’m never watching The Walking Dead ever again, I admit I’ll be there to see who Negan finally kills (sorry Glenn, and possibly Maggie) but I doubt I’ll be there every Sunday night. To be honest, I’d rather be with Blac Chyna and Rob on E!

Also, the  Walking Dead crew should stop comparing themselves to the Game of Thrones production, the smaller budget and longer season never stopped them from reaching ratings heights before, so get your sh** together Scott.M Gimple and stop whining.

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The Walking Dead: ‘Infected’ RECAP

Episode 2 of the fourth season of The Walking Dead, really it should be called “everyone dies” because everyone dies.

We find out that someone’s been sabotaging the prison’s defenses by feeding the zombies dead mice. No idea who this can be…honestly my guess is on the little girl Lizzie.

Tyreese and Karen have got it going on. They are totally inseparable, finding any downtime to cuddle and get funky. This is The Walking Dead, nobody’s allowed to be happy, nobody’s allowed to find love, unless you’re Maggie and Glenn. The scene in the beginning of the episode with Karen was the craziest 45 seconds of TV. We know that Patrick has turned into a zombie, and he’s probably somewhere in the bathroom. She walks through the shower area and you’re just waiting for Patrick to pop out and eat her! But he doesn’t….what she does do is wake him up which leads to the massacre of D-Block. Karen

Like the worst thing that can happen in the prison basically happened. While everyone is sound asleep, Zombie Patrick makes his way through the dark halls, basically to any cell of his choosing. He lurks behind Karen, and you’re holding your breath as she gets into bed for what she thinks is going to be a good night’s sleep. Patrick passes Karen’s cell and goes to another where he bites into some guy whose sound asleep. The worst part is, the guy doesn’t even scream so nobody else knows anything is wrong. I spent 15 minutes debating whether or not you could still scream when a zombies biting into your neck. I feel like he could’ve at least made a yelp, and why aren’t people closing their cell doors?? These are the things I think about.

So one guys down, and of course Patrick gives up on him just in time for that guy to turn into a zombie. And then the feeding frenzy continues. In the other block, Rick is already up feeding his baby girl. He wakes up Carl so they can go feed the pigs. Michonne is already outside ready to take on her daily journey. We also find out that guns are prohibited in the prison,

Rick has taken Carl’s gun away as well as his own. Michonne’s already outside at this point, they hear gunshot’s from the prison, Rick turns around and makes a run for it. Carl hangs back with Maggie as they try and get Michonne back inside. There’s zombies all around her and I don’t even know how she gets out of this one. She leaves her horse at the gate and then two zombies jump on her, she trips and falls back, but Carl has got his hands on a rifle and thankfully shoots one in the head. They manage to get Michonne in but she’s injured. Not like zombie injured, she just has a sprained ankle.

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Beth and Michonne have a surprising moment. There aren’t many scenes I enjoy with ninja girl, but this one had me in tears. Beth is tending to Michonne’s sprained ankle, and Beth can’t take care of both of them so she hands baby Judith over to Michonne. At first, she’s cold and holds the baby back, but after a few seconds she brings the baby closer and holds onto her. She starts sobbing, and this is the realest we’ve ever seen Michonne. She’s such a comic book character that I think it’s easy to forget she was a real person before all of this. She’s always been strong and cold, so it’s refreshing to see her vulnerable and real. But there’s no time for tears because everyone is dying!!

Everyone is going crazy inside D-Block, the boys are already there with their weapons trying to get everyone out. By this point there’s like 5 zombies…more people dead…more people trying to escape. Once the zombies are dead, Rick and Daryl walk through the cells to kill anyone that’s been bitten. Carol is with Lizzie and Mika’s father, he has a bite on his arm and Carol is all ready to amputate. Then she turns him around and he’s got a bite on his neck. So basically it’s over for the big guy. She calls his two girls in to say goodbye, Lizzie volunteers to be the one to kill him, but then she chickens out and Carol does the dirty.

On The Talking Dead Executive Producer Greg Nicotero said that there were about 45 people in the prison, up until the massacre which brought it down to about 30 people. That gives us a better understanding of how many people were lost, and how many people were brought over from Woodbury. I didn’t think it was that many people.

The bodies are wrapped up in blankets, and the council comes together to discuss the outbreak. They think it might be an airborne infection, in which case everyone needs to be isolated, people can’t be sleeping in close quarters. It seems like the virus starts off with bad flu like symptoms and then escalates rapidly into death and then into zombie form. As if on cue, they hear someone coughing down the hall. It’s Karen and she’s all white and sweaty. Tyreese gets defensive and says it’s probably just a cold. Hershel doesn’t buy it, he tells them that’s how this infection can start. Karen needs to be isolated, she gives a name of another cell mate who was coughing earlier.

Meanwhile, outside, Daryl and Rick are putting the bodies into graves. Just when they thought they were done with the drama of the day, they hear a shout coming from the fences. There’s a huge swarm of zombies piling into the exterior fence and it looks like it’s coming down. They rush over but there’s way too many zombies. Rick has the idea of luring them away from the fence with his pigs. Ugh, it was just too much sadness going on in this episode. Sitting on the back of a pickup, Rick would take a pig cut it and then leave it for the zombies. basically making a trail that led away from the fence. It worked but now we have no more piggies…wah!

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In the end I don’t think it mattered if the pigs lived or died, Rick was worried the pigs were infected, so he was going to kill them anyway. Rick just doesn’t look good, he’s covered in blood and sweat, he looks horrible…I mean he doesn’t look horrible but he just looks miserable. He pours gasoline over the pig area and sets it on fire. BTW, I really enjoyed the shirtless shot…we never get to see that! If it takes a massacre for Andrew Lincoln to take his shirt off…I’m all for infestations and airborne diseases.

Tyreese is holding a bouquet of flowers as he’s on his way to visit Karen in isolation. When he gets there her cell is covered in blood, and there’s a trace of blood leading to a door. That door leads to the outside where he finds two bodies completely charred, someone set Karen and the other dude on fire… but nobody knows who. My bet is on Hershel.

The Walking Dead: RECAP ’30 Days Without an Accident’

It is season four of AMC’s hit show The Walking Dead…can you believe it’s been four seasons already? We didn’t end off with a supreme cliffhanger in the season finale but that doesn’t mean we weren’t excited for last night’s premiere.

The episode starts off pretty normal, normal as it gets for TWD…the prison has a lot of new people, a pretty little garden, and little piggies. Everyone seems to be well adjusted to life behind bars…I feel like Carl (Chandler Riggs) needs a really husky deep voice and he’s just not there yet. Also, he’s a real debbie downer but I guess that comes with the territory when your childhood gets cut short because of a zombie apocalypse and you watch your mother die as she gives birth to your baby sister. It’s okay Carl, we understand. I don’t know what these people were up to in the summer but obviously everyone found love in a hopeless place because there are couples swarming!

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Beth (Emily Kinney) is dating one of the new boys…Tyreese (Chad L. Coleman) is shacking up with some white girl…Glenn and Maggie are still going strong…by the way Maggie isn’t pregnant. Carl totally has the hots for one of the new girls…or we’re just hoping so he can finally get a life and stop being a worry wort. Daryl and Carol have this really weird relationship…love them together…but by the end of the episode it looked like Daryl might have a new love interest.

Um okay, so a few people from the group (Michonne,Daryl,Glenn,Tyreese, Beth’s Man, new guy and token alcoholic Bob Stookey played by The Wire’s Lawrence Gilliard Jr) head out to the nearest department store to stock up on some things. This was my favourite and most thrilling scene of the episode…blenders and boom boxes!! There was an endless supply of brand new electronics and kitchen appliances…I was so excited the prison was going to get a bunch of shiny new toys. As the crew make their way through the exciting aisles…a swarm of zombies were hanging out on the roof of the building…a strategy Michonne created using a loud boombox.

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Okay, so you just know something bad is about to happen when the new guy heads for the wine rack. I mean, it’s dark in the store, the lights are off, but somehow the dude finds himself in front of the bottled wine..and you can just see the torment on his face. He doesn’t know what to do, take the wine or leave it…just put it in the damn cart!!! I’m sure everyone would love a glass of wine…your four years into the zombie apocalypse you’re allowed to pop bottles. But nooo he’s a total drunk and he attemps to put the wine in his jacket…as if he has room in there…I don’t get these people. So he finds inner strength and puts the bottle back on the rack…except the entire shelf comes crashing down onto him…he’s okay…he’s just stuck under the shelving. The crashing noise wakes up all the zombies on the roof…and of course because there’s a zombie apocalypse…buildings aren’t stable anymore…I don’t get the connection? One by one zombies start falling through the ceiling…it’s raining zombies!

Now the shopping spree has come to an end…I’m super pissed…and everyone is in killing zombie mode. After a few minutes of fighting, Beth’s man goes to pull out Bob the drunk…and he does…Bob and the crew walk away to leave but Beth’s man is behind them…a zombie reaches out and bites his leg…the crew turn back and Beth’s man is already on the floor with a zombie chewing out his neck. It was disgusting but it serves them ALL right for turning their backs and walking away too early. Everyone knows the danger creeps up when you least expect it.

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Meanwhile, Rick is out in the forest looking for animals to cook. He finds a dead hog? But then some weird zombie looking lady creeps up and starts smelling the animal. At first it looked like she was a walker, but Rick watches her from a distance and you can tell she’s human. She wants to join Rick’s crew, but first Rick demands he meet her husband and ask them three important questions. She leads him back to the camp…which is just a tent…and all of a sudden she turns around and tries to stab him. We see a bag of something…she’s talking to it like it’s her husband. Okay so lady in the woods is obviously crazy…and she proves it when she says goodbye and stabs herself. Her husband was in the bag but was a zombie? This whole scene was really weird. Rick watches and cries…and then walks away. Waste of time.

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Carol is the ultimate multi-tasker, she’s the nurse and she’s the librarian/teacher. Love her. She’s reading a book to all the children in the library…one of the new boys asks if he can be excused because he feels sick. Oh you just know something bad is about to happen. Carol lets him leave…and then she stops reading and pulls out a case of knives. The real education begins now. Carl sneaks into the library to find out what they’re doing…Carol sees him and begs him not to tell his father about the new curriculum. Carl doesn’t say anything and storms off.

When the gang return, Daryl’s the one to tell Beth about her dead beau. She doesn’t shed a tear, Daryl waits for her to show some emotion but she doesn’t. All she says is she can’t cry anymore…and then she stands up to change the sign that said ’30 days without an accident’ Then she goes and hugs Daryl and he cradles her in his arms. Awww cute!

It’s the middle of the night, and the new kid is still feeling sick. Now he looks terrible, so he decides to go take a cold shower. He collapses and the camera pans down and he’s mid transformation. So what I’m thinking is he either attacks next episode..or he infects their entire water supply because he was totally coughing into the water tank. Or both? Either way this is really, really bad.

What do you guys think? And what was the whole point of Rick finding the crazy woman in the forest? And when is The Governor coming back? And does anyone else miss Andrea?

The Walking Dead: Walk With Me

So this week’s episode of The Walking Dead featured the story of Andrea and her awkward buddy Michonne. The fact that this week didn’t have anything from Rick’s story might be a reflection of how the two stories will alternate throughout the season.

Andrea and Michonne are picked up by other survivors…mainly Meryl (remember him from the first season?). He’s part of this huge community called Woodbury, and takes the girls back home with him to get patched up. The small town of Woodbury is run by this guy called the Governor, apparently he was a huge player in the comic books so fans have been waiting around for him. He’s definitely got his own secrets…like the room full of zombie heads submerged in fish tanks. The Governor (who doesn’t reveal his real name) welcomes Andrea and Michonne and offers them a place to stay. Woodbury is guarded with high fences all around, and the people that live inside go about their daily activities like there isn’t a zombie apocalypse outside their walls.

Michonne is a bit skeptical of everything around her, oh and she kills her two zombie pets at the beginning of the episode. We still don’t know who the zombies were, but The Governor and his scientist speculate they were people that meant something to her. Anyways, Andrea is loving Woodbury, but Michonne just wants her weapons back and wants to leave.

So things get a little shady when a military sergeant turns up injured (and lying on his death bed) in Woodbury’s infirmary. The Governor starts asking him questions and finds out that the rest of the soldiers are still out there waiting for their captain. The Governor promises to find them and bring them back. When The Governor shows up to where the army guys are parked, he raises a white flag, so they think he’s trying to help them. Then, all of a sudden he shoots and kills one of them, and the rest of the Woodbury army comes out of the bushes and finishes the rest of the guys off. I guess he wanted them dead because they posed a threat to Woodbury? They were all trained military, with weapons and ammunition, maybe The Governor felt like he would never be able to trust them? Who knows, but we’re sure to find out more about that next episode.